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Unidentified G-Club – Part 1 of 1

Posted by BigDummyKenny on February 16, 2010

I never believed the stories I read on until a similar night of bizarre events happened to me.

About six months ago I went to a g-club with a group of business associates.

The club was fun. A ton of fun. More fun that I could have imagined.

The girls were hot. Extremely hot. Way hotter than I could have imagined

I remember it vaguely, because it was six months ago, but I’ll do my best to provide the highlights of the evening. One thing I am sure about was it was fun and the girls were hot. Extremely hot. Not like the gogo and after hour tramps most you reject expats are accustomed to – please excuse the slight. If it offended you then it was probably appropriate. 😉

I don’t remember the name of the club, but it was somewhere in Bangkok, but not near Sukhumvit. But definitely in the suburbs. But not near either of the airports. Also, it was on the east side of the Chow Piranha river if that helps.

Our evening began as most evenings do; at 6:00pm. We decided to meet at a bar wayyyyyyy down Soi 4 for drinks because we heard really crappy things about it that we hoped were true. What a letdown. But that’s another story. Well, OK. Here’s part of that story.

One of the guys got bad service at the bar, he said he ordered a Tiger but the server brought him a Heineken. Then he remembered he never drinks Tiger and the server actually did bring the right beer. But he bitched at her anyway because he didn’t want to lose face. Then he farted and the server couldn’t stand the smell so she left before she passed out. Our friend laughed because he said he does that at every bar he goes to and it’s good for a free drink.

We had some appetizers and then finished our drinks.

We took the longggggg hike from the small subsoi back to Soi 4, but determined it would take wayyyyyy to long to walk wayyyyyy back to Sukhumvit so we all piled into a taxi. He was going to try and rip us off and not run the meter but one of guys in the cab could tell from the accent he was from Issan, so he pulled out his photo of Thaksin and proclaimed “Thaksin #1”. The taxi driver immediately said “No Meter! You ride free!”. Foreign relations at it’s finest!

About 40 minutes later we pulled into a mostly empty parking lot. Mr. G. not because he’s a g-club expert, but because his last name starts with “G”, said not to worry because it’s a place that gets going after 11pm. So for a couple hours we hung out in the parking lot so we wouldn’t be the first ones inside. About 10:55pm we go inside and it was an unbelievable site. There must have been a hundred of the hottest, most beautiful ladies you’ve ever seen.

I would show you the photos and let you be the judge, but I don’t have any photos, so I can’t show you what it looked like. You just have to believe me that it’s exactly as described. Even if it wasn’t what do you care because you won’t ever go there. But if you do ever go to a g-club which has a hundred of the hottest women you’ve ever seen I will tell you that you found it. If the g-club sucks then you’re in the wrong place.

But seriously, the girls were really hot. How hot? Use the image of your favorite pinup or porn girl and multiply it by a million hot.

There weren’t any other white faces in the club. So our table of 5 got all the girls and all the attention. It was great but there was tension in the room. I was worried because all the Thai business men and their customers were looking at us like we had red shirts and bandannas on the Palace grounds or something. But then someone in our group yelled chai yo and everyone in the place laughed wanted to party with us.

SO there we are with a table full of girls and 5 or 6 bottles of booze and partying the night away.

Forget rural Issan. We were rockstars in Bangkok.

One of the guys (Mr. G) started to party with the mamasan and he was all up in her junk at the table. She was into it and said, take any girls you want. So after 3-4 hours of wild partying and drinking we did. Each of us had 2 or 3 of the hottest girls in all of Thailand. It was almost closing time (we could tell because they turned on the lights) and time to pay our bill.

To our surprise the bill was 1000 baht. Mr. G started to get angry and looked at the mamasan and said something in Thai. The mamasan smiled and said, “No problem! My mistake!” and marked it to the much more reasonable 500 baht total. Mr. G promptly gave the mamasan a bumfinger and she immediately smiled and wai’d him. “I go wid you” she said. And go we did.

So our group made our way outside and all 18 of us piled into a VIP van and made our way back home. That ride was another story that I’d tell but I’m not sure if it was all real or I dreamed part of it when I passed out so I’m not going to write about that.

On the cab ride home we stopped at a street cart and had some crunchy fresh fruit or mushy insects. Whatever, it was still fresh and refreshing and the best 10 baht I’ve spent in my entire life! As we ate our fruit/insect puree we noticed some tattoo’d blond hair western guy with a bunch of ladyboys getting gang raped. We asked him if he needed help but he said no, everything was under control. So it was back into the VIP van. As we reached Sukhumvit we kicked the g-club girls out near Soi 7 and told them not to come to our hotel room until they had 4000 baht – each.

Because the VIP van driver didn’t know where he was, it took us twenty minutes to get back instead of the 5 it should have taken – straight down Sukhumvit. So still drunk we arrived back at our hotel. To our surprise, the g-club girls were all there waving the money. We took the money and had the front desk clerk go get us whiskey and vodka. He came back with the goods and the party continued in Mr. G’s suite until the sun came up later that morning.

Hopefully you don’t find this story too mundane. I’m sure this has happened to everyone that has ever come to Bangkok. Bangkok is the greatest place on earth!


3 Responses to “Unidentified G-Club – Part 1 of 1”

  1. 2 Cool 4 Words said

    Man, this is exactly what happened to me last Friday. Anyone missing a g-club girl?

    About that mamasan. Just to let you know she won’t be reporting to work for a couple weeks.

  2. Mr. G said

    Yes. Indeed. Exactly as you remembered. These girls were great.
    ขอโทษ ผมไปก่อนนะครับ
    And that’s the truth!

  3. el lobo da krabber said

    chai yo!

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