BigDummyKenny

No Something. No Another Thing. No Something Else.

Riding in Bangkok…

Posted by dapurplespy on March 1, 2010

As an unbalanced action-junkie, I need regular rushes of adrenaline. On-line gambling and furious slut-shagging don’t seem to be enough, for I’ve developed a new addiction : riding my small-motorbike in the Bangkok Metropolis.

It’s risky, and it’s unhealthy — but it’s so much fun.

I’m now beginning to ride mostly by feeling — speeding where I would have slowed down weeks ago; and developing a strong intuition about where my road “companions” might go, about what will happen next. Something unpredictable always happens.

At some point, you can speed up to 85 km/h; the road is fluid; at another one the road is chocking with busy traffic — and 35 km/h feels crack-head fast.

What makes it so much fun is to try to foresee by feeling the many hidden hazards that WILL actualize right there, just in front of you…

There are hurried pedestrians determined to cross the street at any cost, apparently; very slow “kitchens” on wheels that will suddenly appear behind a big bus; orange-motosai-taxis riding in the wrong direction, toward you; sexy leggy chicks with long hairs flowing in the wind, that will momentarily distract you; annoying, noisy and fuming tuk-tuk inhabited by fat farangs and slender Thai gals; massive buses that will try to asphyxiates you for good; another speeding and hardly predictable motosai-taxi guy; pink taxis that will turn abruptly trough 3-lains without any warning coze somebody just called a ride; annoying policemen rising a gloved hand to stop you for a fine; lazy fat dogs sleeping in the street at night — all of them potential trouble, all of them companions of the road.

There’re even spots of oil on many streets… and the occasional weird spikes in the tarmac…

One has to be constantly vigilant, and yet espousing the movement of the ride.
It’s a meditation; there are no thoughts, only mental images; you have to become almost pure feeling to ride by instinct… as you look on the left, on the right, in front and in the rear mirrors, speeding or slowing into city — always accompanied by a crowd, visble or not — and foreseeing what will happen…

So much fun.

Ok — I’m off with my helmet and gloves. And a gas mask. No, just kidding. I do get high on the fumes of tuk-tuks and buses…

Oh, and riding of the footpath to avoid a traffic jam is also fun. Can’t be bored riding in Bangkok; that’s for sure!

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14 Responses to “Riding in Bangkok…”

  1. doctorbond said

    Was blessed with the sight of a Tuk Tuk doing a wheelie last time I was in town – it amused my taxi driver so much he forgot to drive at 310 miles per hour for a while

    • Katechon said

      The Pound is free falling with the prospect of a hung parliament… Large — very large — amounts are being waged against it….

      I wish I had bet against it too. I did short the Euro however… (and yes, I’ll make sure to distribute a fair share of those profits to the Real Hot Sluts hanging around the after-hours scene; one has to be charitable, said my mother).

      Guess your next trip in Bangers will be a bit more expensive…

    • doctorbond said

      Yeah I guess so K – still, it’s all relative – I’ll pay the going rate whatever it is
      šŸ™‚

  2. […] View full post on bangkok « WordPress.com Tag Feed […]

  3. SBDOTKU said

    “Iā€™m now beginning to ride mostly by feeling”
    “developing a strong intuition … about what will happen next”
    “What makes it so much fun is to try to foresee by feeling the many hidden hazards”

    The Force is strong in you, young padawan. You will make a strong Jed-Thai Knight!

    • “The Force is strong in you, young padawan. You will make a strong Jed-Thai Knight!”

      Dude, you’re hilarious – where do you hail from? Let me buy you a drink.

      Meet over at Big Mango – waaaaaaayyyyy down across the Pacific?

    • Katechon said

      I’ll have to refine my foreseeing technique, however, as I was almost smashed to death this morning near Sutthisan Road by a family opening 2 left doors on the second lain… WTF?
      I was a pissed off for a second or two, until my attention was diverted by a group of policeman waiting at the next street corner. Me no like policemen. Especially fat one. They look greedy.

    • Katechon said

      If *The Hurt Locker* wins “Best Pix” tomorrow night, I’ll feel that Dah Powah is with me indeed. I’ve called it a long time ago, before it was odds-on favorite.

      That’s what I do for the money, I foresee what will happen and bet on it!

      And I’m actually fucking ecstatic about the British Next General Election; the Media Narrative going on now is *the Tories will fail to obtain an Overall Majority*.

      No they won’t.

      I thought I would be lucky to get 40% on it in March and April; now I’m getting 65%!!! — truly fantastic odds on it. I Just waged this morning my biggest bet evah since the American Presidential Elections — about 35% on my net worth — for a 65% return.

      The Force makes me feel strongly that there’s NO way it’s gonna be a Hung Parliament. Britain would be completely fucked up as a result, worse than the Greek Tragedy that’s unfolding now. As a collectivity, the British people are not that dumb, or so the Force tells me!

  4. “As a collectivity, the British people are not that dumb”

    That’s a bet I wouldn’t take šŸ˜¦

    • dapurplespy said

      You’ll see! šŸ˜‰
      If they are, however, I’ll be fucked too! šŸ˜³ šŸ˜€

  5. dapurplespy said

    Hey Dummy Dude,

    You might wanna put the Pattaya Ghost’s Twats as well! Or Bangkok Pundit’s?

  6. BigDummyKenny said

    @ Purple – Can’t find Pattaya Ghost’s feed. I know it was there a couple weeks ago.

    BigDummy

  7. Daywalker said

    Chaps,

    Just to clear something up… the person posting on my pal Kennys site under the name ‘Daywalker’ is not me.

    I don’t know who it is. My 1st thought is that it is a pal of Kenny trying to cause trouble for me.

    If ROTF is reading this, please note that it is not me (big head?) that is hurling abuse at you!

    Kenny is the only person I have issues with.

    – I refuse to post on his site.

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