BigDummyKenny

No Something. No Another Thing. No Something Else.

BigDummyKenny Ordered To Shutdown! Gookamonkies Claim Victory.

Posted by BigDummyKenny on March 5, 2010

In what is becoming a predictable pattern of behavior, a BigBabyKenny.com reader is up in arms about another website and has turned it into a crusade against the website’s owners/investors/contributors/readers/server providers/etc/etc/etc.

The target of this attack is none other than BigDummyKenny.com and the claim is the administrator has fostered and promoted threats of violence against US Citizens. BDK-CLIT has found that these accusations were turned over to the FBI for investigation which ultimately led to the order to cease operations.

As discovered by the BDK-CLIT operatives, moRon-ru’s call was immediately forwarded to the FBI’s Men In Black Unit. Agent Jay, of the Men In Black unit, was immediately assigned to the case since the Light of Zartha was no longer in danger and all agents in other divisions of the FBI were addressing more important threats to interests of the United States.

The FBI’s MIB Unit issued the following formal statement:

We take every threat against US Citizens seriously and are taking all legal measures to have this free speech curtailed. BigDummyKenny’s website will be shutdown and BigDummyKenny will be found. He will be classified as an enemy combatant and taken to an undisclosed secret jail in Thailand which doesn’t exist. All traces of the BigDummyKenny website will be removed from the blogisphere and all the efforts of the contributors will be gone forever.

In an interview with BDK conducted by al-ja-jism in an undisclosed location, BDK declared in no uncertain terms that he would not be found and his website would continue to operate regardless of the threats or actions taken against him.

“Although I am only one man I have an army of 1,000,000 screen names and 10,000,000 zombie servers ready to spring into action if the original BigDummyKenny.com website is taken down. Each server can be sent a command remotely to execute it’s dedicated detractor message algorithms if necessary.”

BigDummyKenny went on to say he is constantly changing locations and never sleeps in the same apartment or room of a g-club, gogo or coyote girl.

“They think finding Bin Laden has been tough? Ha. They ain’t seen nothing yet! Little do they know the complexity of the low tech network used to communicate with BigDummyKenny. Passing messages through a number of operatives on bubble gum, used toilet paper, surplus components from bargirl’s destroyed cellphones, old lottery tickets and 7-11 receipts before they are finally handed off to the operatives at BDK.COM or to me. These are only a few of the methods used and the methods are constantly changing.”

Meanwhile, since the announcement of the FBI MIB’s statement, it’s been pandemonium at Gookamonkey Central (Northridge, California, USA) with a spike in reported incidents of cars being set on fire, looting, property damage and girls being stalked by guys walking the streets with D300 cameras. One gookamonkey was overheard saying, “This is the greatest victory since we got the TFS2M and The Big Mango Bar to shut down! BigBabyKenny Roxxxxxxx!”

In his victory speech, Kenny stated that it was ultimately his dedicated detractors using multiple aliases and not the no censorship censorship policy that won the day and the battle.

“I’ve used so many aliases I’m not sure who I am anymore. I’m going to see Bertha after things have settled down to get that sorted out. I’ve shortchanged alot of people in my life and I want to do the right thing. Then I’m going to focus on my career. Maybe publish a paper on the economics of Big Whitey on the Thailand Girl Scene and any correlations that can be found concerning the prices they pay for pickup trucks, mailboxes, cell phones and the amount they pay to live in Buriram.”

To get people to come to the party, moRonru has promised that he, um, BBK, will release the often talked about but never seen record traffic statistics. When asked how many people were expected at the party he said,

“All of them! We know there’s a huge amount of interest in the traffic statistics and by announcing we’ll be providing those statistics at the party it’s sure to bring out all the BigBabyKenny supporters. We expect we’ll even see a few undercover Team Mango to show up.

He went on to explain the painstaking effort gone through to prepare the location for all BBK fans.

“We took the car off the blocks and moved it and the motorcycle out of the garage. We’ve gone all out. Bought a 6 pack of beer, a 6 pack of diet coke and 2 bags of chips (one regular and one seafood). We’ve also got another 6 pack of diet coke and bag of chips (seafood) if more people show up than expected. There’s a small concrete pad behind the garage and a couple umbrellas if the garage gets too crowded but we think the garage will be a big enough venue.”

When it was pointed out that they really couldn’t claim victory since BigDummyKenny is still online and BigBabyKenny’s reporting on the Thailand Girl Scene has been curtailed, BBK stated, “I’ve got a theory on how to get around that.”

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21 Responses to “BigDummyKenny Ordered To Shutdown! Gookamonkies Claim Victory.”

  1. Purple Alzheimer said

    I’m sorry BigWackyDummy — for I was at the The Mango, and I did forget to take the pictures of the The Bathroom O promised you in order to illustrate your classic and user-fiendly Guide about how to leave it for greener, freshy rooms.
    (Those Star Treck pix made me piss a little bit outside the bowl. Tanks doc.)

    • doctorbond said

      Hey PA – I hope you didn’t piss on Tiberius – God would never forgive you !!!

  2. Daywalker said

    Hilarious post.

    Please note that we have a wheel-chair friendly toilet in the Mango.

    The Star Trek poster comes in very handy in the bog, if you happen to run out of bog roll.

    (sorry doc) 😳

    • Purple Furious said

      Man, one girl one night at my place used one of my wide white towels to wipe her ass!

    • Daywalker said

      I knew of a girl who (without breaking momentum) blew her nose on the bedsheets whilst she was being rogered from behind. Class.

    • doctorbond said

      … yes Daywalker.. you use it to get rid of Klingons…
      (OK bring on the opprobrium for my having just used the oldest joke in the world)

  3. Clarence said

    “Gookamonkey”??

    Your in for a fucking kicking if i ever see you you racist prick

    • RealDaffyDuck said

      (yawn)
      oh, look, faux outrage – how novel.
      (yawn)

    • BigDummyKenny said

      @ Clarence – We don’t do P.C. here. If you’re expecting P.C. then you best move along.

      Besides, with a name like “Clarence” my guess is you’ve been on the receiving end of ass kickings.

      Have a nice day sunshine. 😉

    • Mr. G said

      Dude, ‘Clarence’ ? That’s the name of a myopic lion, or the random name of a spammer — I really wish these guys would at least show some minimal creativity in coming up with names for their sockpuppets.

    • Purple Laugh said

      Come on guys, that Clarence’s comment made me laugh; pretty funny.

      Keep ’em comin’, boy!

  4. Clarence said

    KICKING – ya git me?

  5. Clarence said

    “oh, look, faux outrage – how novel.”

    you such a faggot

  6. Clarence said

    Sorry Prple.

    Mr Daffy

    You such a faggot.

    Howzat fer classy me ole son

  7. Big Black Gulliver said

    Clarence AKA Professor Babble-On going to Oviatt Library to send his blog posts because IT is monitoring his office IP address now! Kenny why do people universally hate you?

    Maybe because you spend more time on your whore blog than on your job! And the Economics Department knows it now!!!!! LOL Accessing BigBabyKenny.com from your office

    VERY STUPID

    Note: Spelling mistakes!!!!!!!

    http://csunecon.com/Economics%20308-Managerial%20Economics/Fall%202009/Econ%20308%20Frames.htm

    • Daywalker said

      Oooooh.. Mr Gulliver.. you do make me chuckle.

      No doubt Kenny will be using your name to post on his site as he is doing with my name.

      Sad I know.

    • Relatively easy — I’m sure IT monitors the entire network for connections to BBK.com. If Kenny were smart (hahaha hehehe hohoho) he’d access and post on his site from his G1 — oh, wait, but he can’t.

  8. Big Black Gulliver said

    And would you like to tell us all about the pornography sites that were reported by CSUN IT? I guess we all know that was used to post on the Big Mango Site! Right? Nod…..Wink.

  9. BBG — wanna grab some lunch in the cafeteria, or at Acapulco this coming week? I hear there’s flyers for BigBabyKenny.com being put up in the bathroom of Acapulco’s…

  10. Big Black Gulliver said

    Daffy, I would love to but unlike Ken Ng I’m in Bangkok enjoying things. Email me when you plan to be in BBK and I’ll buy you a Beer Lao! bigblackgulliver@gmail.com

    No flyers…….it’s all about the T-Shirts being printed for Spring Break.

    Front Side:

    “I learned about economics on BigBabyKenny.com”
    Home of the flying Gookamonkey!

    Back Side:

    Bangkok Sex Tours
    http://www.bigbabykenny.com/
    Inquire at Juniper Hall, Room 4262
    email: kenneth.ng@csun.edu
    phone: 818-677-4610

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