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Details of Future Whereabouts of Prof. Gookamonkey

Posted by RealDaffyDuck on March 30, 2010

A recent change of hotel name has tipped off the BDK-CLIT investigators as to possible future whereabouts of Prof. Gookamonkey.

The Oriental Changes Name To Gook Hotel

New branding to better reflect the hotel’s reputation for eagerly attending to the whims of foreigners

BANGKOK — The Mandarin Oriental Hotel Group announced on Thursday that it has changed the name of its flagship Bangkok property to the Gook Hotel. The historic institution, which dates to the late 19th century, said it feels the new name better reflects its famed reputation for submitting to the demands of visitors.

The hotel’s German manager stressed that the name change would not affect the Oriental’s tradition of following orders.

“We have worked hard to ensure that the Oriental is known worldwide for servicing foreigners. When told by an outsider to do something, one expects the Oriental to do it without question. The same goes for the Gook,” said managing director Jan Goessing.

Goessing said that several other names were considered, including the Slope, the Dink, the Slanty-Eye, the Zipperhead, and the Yellow Menace Hotel.

“Just like the Oriental, the Gook will eagerly attend to every whim and desire of wealthy Westerners, often with an exaggerated bow and bucktoothed smile,” Goessing added. “It is the way of the Gook.”

But hospitality experts say that the Gook is no longer the accommodating entity it once was.

“The Oriental – pardon me, the Gook – seems to be tiring of its years of servitude,” said Michael Trulio, an Asian affairs analyst. “Reports indicate that the Gook appears less willing to kowtow to outsiders, especially since the global recession has weakened the financial power of its overseas controllers.”

Analysts believe the long-toiling Gook may join hands with other Orientals in the region and rise up together in an orgy of blood and violence to reclaim its pride and dignity.

Reprinted from not THE NATION


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