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SBDOTKU: Return to Man Heaven – Part 1

Posted by RealDaffyDuck on March 8, 2011

A Bit of Man Heaven

Return to Man Heaven. Trip Report Dec 2010-Jan 2011, Part 1

Landed at  Suwanabumi in the early hours of the morning. A direct flight from Los Angeles via Thai Air was a delicious change of pace for me. Usually, after getting to L.A. directly, my flights have a layover for quite a few hours somewhere in Asia. But this year, the flights with the layovers were as expensive as the Thai Air direct, so…

No lines of my fellow farang, so quickly through immigration and baggage retrieval., since this flight arrives at the much more sensible 6:00 AM, unlike the wee-dark-hours-of-the-morning flights. Now where the @#$%! is that meter taxi stand again? After a difficult year-and-a-half away, it was hard to remember those kinds of details. Besides, hadn’t I read that there was a meter taxi stand somewhere else, or maybe it moved or…?

After realizing I had left something on the plane and retrieving it via the Thai Air lost and found, off I went to use an ATM for some extra cash. @#$%! 150 B fee. Grrrr, maybe traveler’s checks are worth checking out again?

Found the meter taxi stand just where I left it last time, on the bottom, Arrival level, and was on my way. Trying a new hotel, always a scary proposition. Overall, thumbs up. Good rate, though stupid extra 300 B/ daily charge for guest room wifi (free computers downstairs in the tiny lobby). Tiny pool. Probably more enjoyable during the scorching months. Very nice and helpful staff. And did I mention very nice rooms.

Where to go and who to do? I had a packed vacation planned and I needed to take advantage of every moment.

Starting out mellow, I went to my tailor to get some new casual shirts made. Oh, and it just happens to be near NEP and the bar beers in the area. Convenient that. Then off to meet a friend for lunch to help me configure my iPhone for my stay. We had decided to meet at everyone’s favorite bar…when what should we discover but that the bar is no longer open during the earlier part of the day. Slight deviation to that tiny place on the corner that I can’t remember the name of. Friend met. iPhone set up. Burger eaten.

Back to the hotel for a shower and change of clothes, then off to the races. I stopped in at Morning Night where I have known some of the regular girls for a while. The only ones around were the ugly, but funny, ones. OK, enough of that. Now where? Hmmm. Cutie I know at Anglewitch not there. Psycho stalker-chick at Mandarain IS there. So off to Cowboy it is.

Ah Cowboy, just so interesting. It’s becoming like that weird theme park of miniature landmarks. Like a microscopic Las Vegas, only with hotter chicks that put out for way less cash and with way more enthusiasm and no free drinks or roulette wheels.

OK, ex-sweetie at Shark means I’m not going in there my first night or I will be trying to unstuck her from my side for the rest of the trip. A stop into Baccara is in order. Some stunning looking young ladies downstairs. Ended up sitting next to one of the greeters who really wanted me to barfine her, but it was early and she wasn’t THAT hot so after a drink it was off to meet a girl I had met from one of the Thai dating websites. Note to self: don’t ever bother to meet them where it might cut into my nightlife. Unless I happen to “meet” one I know is a gogo girl (which I have now), these are at best long term prospects, too much effort for those of us with very limited time in Man Heaven.

After an uneventful and not-so-enjoyable dinner with a “normal” Thai girl I had gotten to know online, it was time to get serious about meeting a good “bad” Thai girl!

Back to Cowboy and into the first gogo I had ever gone to: Long Gun. Could they crank the AC any more? Freezing my ass off but happy to be one of the few guys in the place and this is high season?

My formula for picking a winner:

  • Watch how each girl interacts with the girls around her. Smiling and laughing? +1. Aloof and condescending? -1
  • Watch her dance. Standard 2-step BG shuffle? -1. Shaking her stuff and movin’ to the groovin’? +1 (or more)
  • Try to catch her eye. Yes +1. Too busy checking herself out in the mirror behind my head? -1.
  • Smile. Smile returned? Yes +2. No -2.
  • Bonus points: acting kind of goofy, either with me or her friends.
  • Invite the winner over for a drink.

After the above point scoring took place I invited the winner to sit next to me and have a drink. In a word, SCORE! Sexy body, gravity-proof breasts with eraser nipples, beautiful smile on a beautiful face, gorgeous hair, perfect handfuls of firm ass and cute little Isan gnome feet. (c’mon, you know what I’m talking about).

Tequila shot? Well you just go right ahead and get whatever you want. Fun conversation, great attitude, delicious to look at… I’ll take one to go with everything! One barfine later we are out the door. I usually see if the girl wants to go dancing or eat but it must have been fairly late by then because I think we just went right back to my hotel room.

The hotel couldn’t have been more casual about it all, so no problem getting up to my room. Showers and then down to business. This is the first Thai girl I have ever met that actually seemed to LIKE giving head. And she knew how to do it too! Protection on (because I have met some of you and wouldn’t drink out of the same bottle! The thought of sharing anything else with you gives me the dry heaves!). Fun begun. I enjoy giving my girls a good time and making sure they get something out of the deal, so waited until she was “oh my God”-ing (or the Thai equivalent) before starting my plunge and ascent into nirvana. Midway through the doggy course of the night’s festivities, I give her delicious ass a playful spank. Her response was a libido-melting moan and says in a voice that still makes my sack tingle says: “spank me!” What’s a man to do but help a lady in obvious need of assistance? Suffice to say after a while we both felt very satisfied.

Cut to the next day, late morning / early afternoon of Christmas Eve. We had some great food at the Thai seafood restaurant on the corner of Soi whatever – (Soi 6?) and Soi 4 and decided we thought highly enough of each other to hang out some more that evening.

Off she went to go home and get her stuff together while I went and did something else that is inconsequential to this story. I will mention that I tried to find those shoe shops that SpotLightWolf mentioned and since they didn’t jump out at me they remain unfound – ah well, something for next trip.

For some reason she made a big deal about meeting her somewhere other than her bar, even though she had to stop in to pick up her check. Her boyfriend worked there and was acting jealous? She was meeting a guy to short time him? Who knows why – after this many trips, I’ve stopped trying to figure out why Thai girls do the things they do.

So we met at another bar and started partying the night away. Had some fun talking to some friends of mine, then dragged a bunch of them over to Hillary Bar 2, where I know the very cool mamasan.  Typical pretty good live Thai band performing random songs of all types. A medley of Christmas songs at midnight and then, on with the party!

My girl and I decided it was time to get some serious groove on and headed over to Nana Liquid, which I had yet to experience since it’s phoenixian reincarnation. Saw the Nigerian chick that was dancing with the old guy in Hillary 2 in there, how did she get there so quick? And an assortment of not-horrible-looking girls. But Nana Liquid has one HUGE strike against it in my book – it allows smoking and does not have a good ventilation system. I HATE reeking of cigarette smoke when I leave a bar / dance place. And the music was only just OK and the drinks were fairly expensive. Not going down as any better than Climax (FKA: Spice Club). In short, other places are better, but this is convenient.

Well, after enjoying watching her shake that hot package I wanted to unwrap my little gift. Back to my place where we showered out the stink of the dance club and banged something fierce. And my new friend introduced me to a special  trick, she can orgasm on cue! And it wasn’t from me saying: “Did you cum? Did you cum? Did you cum?” or hours of ministrations trying to make her get there. I was about to do all that, when she said: “just fuck me” in the sack-tingling voice. Did I mention her English was very good? She then just went to the moon on her own. And I strapped in and rode that rocket for all I was worth! Somewhere, there is a porn producer crying.

(End Part 1)


21 Responses to “SBDOTKU: Return to Man Heaven – Part 1”

  1. SBDOTKU said

    Crap! We use gravitars so I can’t comment about what a great post this is by imitating other posters. Damn you BigDummyKenny!!!! 😉

    • BigDummyKenny said

      A couple things I really liked about this. One is it’s all about having fun. No bullshit about banging cheaper charlie or more effectively. Second, you don’t go telling everyone the proper way to take the girl shopping for a new cellphone.

      Extra credit for thinking ahead and avoiding possible problems with the shark girl.

      Yes, the avatars are a bitch aren’t they? Keeps the sock puppets at bay.

      Am I the only one who’s noticed a trend of guys making a stop at the after hours clubs part of the routine night out? I get the impression guys are bypassing the go go bars in favor of non-red light venues.

  2. SBDOTKU said

    Entering a second comment to be sure to get updates of comments, which I’m sure will all be complimentary. ;-P

  3. RealDaffyDuck said

    Where are the goats?

  4. Jet said

    Your next trip you’ll probably find out you’re the one who made her break up with her Thai boyfriend because now she likes the white meat too much.

    This is what’s so fuck’d up. Girl works in the bar. Thai boyfriend knows girl works in bar and goes with customers. Thai boyfriend gets money from Thai girlfriend who goes with customer for money. Then Thai boyfriend gets jealous? WTF?

    Credit to you SBDOTKU for not trying to make sense out of it, but if I may. Eventually the raw human emotions comes out. Even when the Thai guy knows the deal with his girl having sex with customers. Those emotions just can’t be kept in forever.

    I mean, really, what do these dumb ass Thai guys think?

    You’re paying 2k-3k (or in the case of the old guy with the little pot belly sheba girl, 10k) just so you can cuddle? Get outta here!

    • “I mean, really, what do these dumb ass Thai guys think?”

      What do the dumb ass farang sponsors think that send their girl money and then are somewhat surprised to find the girl still continues to work …. if that’s how they met her?

      What about the dumb ass farang guys who claim they love their teeruk, and the hire some shady private investigators to show their trust by not just spying on her, but trying to set her up in impossible situations?

      Seriously, I feel the key is to be honest with the girls, and not to have expectations they can’t fulfill, and make clear to them that you don’t need to be lied to in order to be happy.

      It works for me. I don’t get obvious lies from the girls I maintain contacts with (and in those cases where they fudge the facts, I don’t actually care – therein lies the difference.)

    • MongerSEA said

      Thai males are for the most part raised to be preening, self-absorbed drama kings with an overinflated sense of entitlement.

    • adman said

      Hey Jet. This sounds like the Sheba’s girl you were talking about with the “pot belly” in Visa Runs’ High Season article.

      “Gaew, 22, a university student who succeeded in her scheme said that she managed to blackmail the wife of the man who had a crazy crush on her. After she got her belly job done she telephoned his wife and bargained for some hundreds of thousands of baht for her abortion and for leaving him alone.”

      Her sponsor may end up shelling out a whole lot more than 10k!

  5. Daywalker said

    It’s no secret that I have (on occasions) found a group of fun girls and dropped them each 5k to attend a party with NO OBLIGATIONS. All they have to do is chill out, relax, have a drink and they can leave whenever they want.

    Each time, the girls have acknowledged that they’re not on a clock, don’t have to ‘perform’ and have made their money for the night… and day after.

    Each time, the girls have all stayed partying well into the next day and longer. After getting drunk, clothes seemed to fall off and sexual relations did take place. I even got invited to their rooms for the next parties. I still party with them.

    Money well spent

    Charlie Sheen would be proud!

    • RealDaffyDuck said


      (ah, how I recall the party – good times. Nice girl from Pretty Lady)

    • BigDummyKenny said

      @Daywalker – Yea! This is what it’s all about. Party with the girls and have a good time. Don’t get sucked into the quicksand of dealing with a Thai girl, her family, the boyfriend, the sick grandparents, buffalo, cow, goat.

      If the girl wants to hook up after then it’s all good.

  6. That girl seems to have a nice booty. And yes, I understand the appeal of the Issan Toes. I have a big rule not to take a girl who has ugly feet.

    On another note:

    This guy is the Christopher Hitchens of the Thai Whore Blog World.

    MongerSEA = Carlin

    And lastly….either Ng has finally quit his blog or fucked something up because we have a “fat boy down”

  7. […] “This guy is the Christopher Hitchens of the Thai Whore Blog World.” — Big Black Gulliver […]

  8. SBDOTKU said

    OK, since this is my entry, I figure I can go off-topic without anyone getting upset. Wanted to ask if we could add some links to the list up there. How about BangkokBuddy, BangkokBadBoy (because I think “he” is blogging again ) and Saphan Loy.

    Just a thought.

    Also, just noticed we average something like 50 unique people a day visiting this site. I’m kind of freaked out. I mean I only thought there were about three other people reading this blog!

    And finally, apologize for the delay in give my next part(s). I’ll be sure to turn in a couple of parts together so they can be spaced out better as I finish the trip.

    My best to all.

    • (chanting)

      PART 2! PART 2! PART 2! PART 2!

    • Consideirng Saphan Loy’s currently article is entitled “BigBabyKenny Unhinged”, you bet that I’ll add him 🙂

    • BigDummyKenny said

      @ SBDOTKU – The number of returning and new is over 100 each day. Now you should really be freaked out. I’ll post up some screen shots.

      Enjoy your trip.


    • SBDOTKU said

      I’m glad the rest of you are all independently wealthy and don’t have to work for anyone. I, on the other hand, have to spend way too much time at this “job” thing. Frankly, I think it’s overrated, but the money it provides me in order to go to Man Heaven is NOT overrated, so I think I’ll keep it for a while.

      All this to say that I will do my best to get my trip report finished, but free time is at a premium in my universe.

  9. adman said


    The sacrifices one makes for reaching Man Heaven are indeed difficult, however the reward makes it well worth while.

  10. SBDOTKU said

    Sorry guys, finishing up part 2. I’ll send it soon.

    Best, SBDOTKU

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