BigDummyKenny

No Something. No Another Thing. No Something Else.

BigBlackGulliver: Laos Business Adventure (Part 1)

Posted by RealDaffyDuck on March 9, 2011

One of the great things about living in Thailand full-time is when friends, co-workers or customers visit. In this case a customer from the UAE. Even more fun, when it’s their first time visiting.

Their enthusiasm and curiosity is infectious and makes you feel like your experiencing some things for the first time again.

I met him at the airport and take him back to his room at The Davis Hotel (fantastic property)

We had a three city trip ahead (Udon Thani, Nong Khai and outside Vientiane)

I figured he was tired and told him I would meet him at breakfast the next morning.

Ahhh no, 10 minutes later we were at Queens Park Plaza and 5 minutes later he barfined the first girl he saw, a cute little chick at Popeye 2 . I put him and her in a cab back to The Davis.

Mission Accomplished!

He is tucked away with a bar girl and I can just sit and relax tonight at the Corner Bar drink some beers and watch the traffic go by before getting some sleep.

30 minute later my phone rings…….

“I have a big problem”

BBG: What’s up?

Customer: I have a big problem!

BBG: Ok, what?

Customer: The girl is angry because I took a movie.

BBG: What do you mean you took a movie?

Customer: We were having sex and I took a movie with my phone!

BBG: Did you ask her ahead of time?

Customer: No, we were doing it doggie style and I tried to take the movie so she couldn’t see but turned around and saw my phone.

BBG: OK, tell her you will delete the movie and pay her 2000 baht to leave quietly. (screaming in the background)

Customer: OK, I’ll call you back

BBG: This will end badly. (I head back to the hotel)

Customer: She wants 10,000 Baht, a copy of my passport and my cell phone.

BBG: Look he will delete the SIM card and pay you long time, OK?

Girl: Fuck him he put my movie on internet! (throws hotel alarm clock and hits the window)

BBG: Look he’ll go downstairs to the ATM take out 5000 Baht and you keep his SIM card – deal?

Girl: I want copy passport

BBG: No way, take the money and go

Girl: I call SECU

BBG: Call them (I hand her the hotel phone)

She takes the deal and customer heads down to the ATM. We all head outside.

While he is gone she asks me if I want to go short time after she gets her money. Only in Thailand!

It’s now around 11pm and he wants another girl because as he said “I didn’t get to finish” OK, off to Soi Cowboy! (Part 2 here.)

 

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16 Responses to “BigBlackGulliver: Laos Business Adventure (Part 1)”

  1. Rooster said

    What have you Mangoloids done to the BBK website. This DNS attack sucks

  2. BigDummyKenny said

    @Rooster – You’re making some erroneous assumptions there. It should be obvious to you BBK sycophants that although I will continue to parody Kenny on occasion we here at BigDummyKenny are not going to waste our efforts to organize a DNS attack on his website. In case you haven’t noticed we don’t have any reason to do so. The THESIS QUALITY CONTENT being submitted by the readers and the comments here is certainly not threatened by what you see on BBK.COM so you need to go witch hunt elsewhere.

    Also, your Mangoloid label is inappropriate for a number of reasons. Most important is the fact that nobody with admin access to this site has any involvement with the Big Mango Bar in Bangkok on Sukhumvit Soi 4 on the alley across from the 7-11. Not to say that a number of us have been there and enjoyed the food, music, free internet and free pool. But certainly to state that BigBabyKenny’s site has been taken offline by people affiliated with the Big Mango Bar is misguided.

    • Plus, I think it’s probably time to further distance ourselves from Kenny, by further marginalizing him, and ignoring him. This site has developed a nice identity on it’s own, that it doesn’t need to be dragged down by association with Kenny’s low-brow product. (albeit kick-ass parody articles are always enjoyed).

      Maybe we should even change the name to something more appropriate?

  3. BigDummyKenny said

    @BBG – Did you mean SD card? Why did she want the SIM card? And what’s up with these girls going around asking for 10k baht? Is this some sort of lucky number for them?

    NOTICE TO ALL BDK READERS: If any reader admits to paying a girl more than 5k for long time I’m blocking your IP. Sure, you may have more money than sense but you’re warping these girls expectations and the way the bar girl telegraph system works by Songkran they’ll all be expecting 10k.

    YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED 🙂

    • I deleted the video for her, even walking through the steps in a show of good faith. 10K? Its nice round number to remember I guess.

      My “assumption” is she wanted a copy of the passport and his SIM card (contract account) to track him down in case the video was found on the internet.

      To say she was hysterical would be an understatement.

      To say I understand the logic of a Soi 22 bargirl would be a huge mistake.

    • RealDaffyDuck said

      I actually do understand the girl in this case. I don’t get it punters like your buddy who just thinks that it’s okay to pull a fast one. The girls are human beings, and they have every reason to have an expectation of privacy, particularly since the stories of punters posting videos on the internet are widespread — and I wouldn’t be surprised if girls hadn’t lost their sponsors because their video was discovered.

      Reminds of a semi-regular girl I know back in BKK, who’s likeness I once found in a graphic porn video from a popular (and very raunchy) online Thai porn destination – in a video dated 3 years earlier, at a time when I was under the impression that she was 19. yeah, the mental calculator spun up…

      I’m quite looking forward to the next installments of your story – as you said “This won’t end well”, and I think this outcome was almost predicated by this initial story…. Hilarious to read, though.

    • Daywalker said

      I don’t recall ever asking a girl how much for a night (4 mins of sex, the rest sleeping). I’ve just made them an offer and then spend the next 2 days trying to get rid of them.

      In defense of these young creatures…. have you never been offered a job (that you didn’t really want) and then submitted a huuuuuge salary demand?

    • Wombat said

      5k. That’s for the week isn’t it?

    • Big Dummy I admit I have paid 5K in the past but that was at Amsterdam and I got a free bath out of the deal?

      Plus it was for short-time (1 hour) so technically you can’t block my IP.

      There are two chicks there named Emmy and King that are worth the 5K.

    • BigDummyKenny said

      @ Big Black Gulliver – You’re OK – Right at the 5k limit.

  4. Wombat said

    Who’s Kenny?

  5. SBDOTKU said

    I am cringing just reading this. If this is the start, I bet it ends in one or more of the following: A) deportation B) getting the crud beat out of him by a pile of Thais C) getting thrown out of a bar, his hotel, a gogo… or all of the above!

    One word: trainwreck

  6. Quixote said

    5k or 10k makes no difference. Catch up with the silly girl the next day and she wont have 2 baht to rub together. If the sponsor is bothered so much by seeing the girl on the net he shouldnt be giving the girl cash in the first place. This little whore needs to chill out and let it go. She’s not living the life of a nun!

    Dont bother bar fining them. Lotta smoking hot trim at the f l venues and clubs where the attitude is better and the goods are just as good.

    Get some.

  7. Jimmy Boy said

    In the good ol’ days the girls didn’t mind so much about getting photos of them but now with the internet they know there’s a good chance of them getting posted to a blog, someone’s facebook page or in a photo album. Funny as it may seem many of these girls don’t want the exposure and will turn away even if photographed on walking street.

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