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BarRaider: But My Thai Girl Is Different – Part 2of3

Posted by BigDummyKenny on March 20, 2011

A quick review: Understand the Buddhist culture and your girls mindset about working in one of the “venues”. Not all girls lie, but if your girl’s primary objective is your wallet, not you, she will lie to you in a second to protect her financial interests.

Click here for Part 1

This is about separating the Thai girls who are truly interested in you from those who are only interested in your money. If you’re with a girl who doesn’t ask for any money, ever, and you’ve been with her awhile, nice! Bonus if she has light skin and tall. You’ve hit the trifecta if she’s got a big rack. For everyone else, onward.

In the past when I was out sizing up talent (before I locked up with my girl) I used two criteria to deduce if my girl’s heart wasn’t into the relationship. If you’ve got your head on straight and listen to your friends (do listen, they’re usually right!) and don’t make excuses because it’s what your heart wants to believe, you’ll do fine (and you won’t end up as a EBAM – Expat Bitcher And Moaner).

I know I said that I’d talk about money first. But actually the first criteria I use is TIME.

Because if she’s not into you it doesn’t matter how much money you give the slut, ummmmm, I mean your teruk, she will try to spend as little time as possible with you after services are rendered (unless you tell her she needs to spend x number of hours with you for y baht – which I highly recommend). If she won’t spend time with you and you’re giving her a bunch of money why bother with her? Cause you know it’s not a long term relationship she cares about.

In a strictly financial arrangement she’s not going to spend that much time with you.

So you don’t (shouldn’t) care what she does when she’s not with you or how much time she’s away. So if you’re into the girl take a moment to consider how much she wants to involve you in her life.

If the girl really isn’t into you she’ll have all types of excuses for not spending time with you. So consider why she doesn’t want to go out with you alone or to take a trip out of the city next time you ask (going shopping with her does not count!). The girls will make all types of excuses. Read again: EXCUSES (check out a few here). Hard as it may be to swallow, she just isn’t into you and most likely has a Thai boyfriend who won’t allow it to happen (and believe me, these guys do get jealous if a girl spends most her time with one customer).

Speaking of the Thai boyfriends, if you care about the girl and things aren’t making sense, there are ways to figure if a Thai guy is in the picture if you decide it’s worth the bother. Who’s picking her up and dropping her off at your place, the bar, where ever? If it’s the same guy you can be 100% sure it’s not a regular motocy driver and it’s not her brother or friend. Unless the Thai guy is getting a piece of that ass he’s not going to be right there every time she needs a ride to meet you.

Another way is unannounced and unplanned tell her you want to go to her place and then hang out there awhile. Don’t buy the bullshit excuse that it’s messy or small or the other excuses she comes up. Female roommate? Nope. Excuse. If your girl is into you she’ll want to introduce you. If she resists too much let it go this time but bring it up another time. I’ve caught 3 girls this way, not because the guy was there, but because he had some of his personal items in the room even though he didn’t live with her. Cigarettes (she didn’t smoke), a guys coat, shoes and a several items in the bathroom was all I needed to see to know. If it was a planned visit on the girls terms I’m sure I wouldn’t have ever known. Are you man enough to cut and run? It’s not going to be easy. Don’t ask the girl about it and expect a straight answer (It was her brother that she never once mentioned before? Right.), you won’t get it. Don’t make a scene about it either. Make your exit strategy and move on. Her objectives don’t meet your expectations. Oh, and make sure it’s her place she takes you. I had one girl actually take me to her girlfriends apartment. Stupid girl – she needs to save her tricks for the ST room.

Finally, and my favorite, is the guy that always shows up to party when you go out with your girl and her friends. Sometimes it’ll be a guy that works in the very hole in the wall place you go to party too! I knew a girl who a friend was sponsoring for almost a year and during the entire time she was still dating the Thai guy who worked at the bar she once worked! He just wouldn’t believe me over her lies. He’s OK now, but there was that drunken night in Pattaya on the hotel balcony.

There are plenty of comments and articles available on other websites with plenty of examples of the excuses girls make up. What I’m trying to get across to you is if the girl is into you and only you she’ll treat you incredibly well and want to spend almost all her time with you and doesn’t need to make up excuses.

Does your girl pass the time and commitment requirement criteria? If not you need to seriously consider why you’re wasting your time.

So she does pass the test? Then let’s move on to the other thing so many guys complain about after they part ways with that no good Thai girl: MONEY

I’ll tell you all about that, in part 3


31 Responses to “BarRaider: But My Thai Girl Is Different – Part 2of3”

  1. wacka dacka dooo said

    I’ve read too many nightmare stories about girls from the massage parlors and gogo bars to even consider any long term arrangement. Why get involved with one other than for short time?

    Speaking of which – I’ll take a short time arrangement with the girl in the first and last photo. The last girls breasts look like the airbags on my volkswagen.

    I know Daywalker – you’re sorry to hear about my volkswagen.

  2. adman said

    Raider, I don’t think you’ve given out any state secrets here. It’s obvious a girl that’s too busy to spend time with you isn’t in love with you.

    I’m just not following what your point is besides the obvious.

    • You’d be amazed about how many guys these points aren’t obvious to.

    • BarRaider said

      The RealDaffyDuck nails it adman. I’m not claiming to be a mind reading sage that has the inside scoop on this stuff. Nope. Not trying to come across as a know it all either. It’s just that, damn, some of the guys are so ignorant.

      If you’ve had any doubts about your Thai girlfriend and your subconscious is talking to you, listen! You owe it to yourself to get the truth. Guys think they’re being a good guy giving the girl money. The girls will even stroke your ego and tell you what they think you want to hear. Even so, they’re being sincere when they say you’re a good guy. You could be the biggest asshole in the world but if you’re giving her money you’re a good guy.

      That’s where these guys get confused. As long as you’re giving her money she’ll give you some time. Love has absolutely nothing at all to do with it. Nothing.

      I was lucky enough to get to know a couple bar girls when I was younger who liked hangin out with me. They’d tell me all types of shit. They shared things with me that had I been much older I know I wouldn’t have learned from them. I would have learned the hard way. Even so, after dating some “venue” girls and some non-venue girls, I found out I didn’t know as much as I thought.

      One thing was consistent, everytime I felt something wasn’t quite right I found out that the girl had a problem that I wouldn’t tolerate in a girlfriend or she had another guy – every single time! According to Thai Bargirls Investigations, at least 3 of every 4 girls in a relationship with a guy is in some way lying to him. Can you believe it?

      “75% of the men who send money to bar girls in Thailand are being lied to, cheated on, disrespected and SCAMMED! They are NOT getting what they think they are paying for (i.e. loyalty, fidelity, faithfulness) and they are NOT “giving her a better life”!

      Anyway, after about the fourth bad girlfriend experience I took a hard look at what they all had in common that turned me off. What I came up with was they all had excuses on why they couldn’t move in with me or spend time with me. They also had what I thought were silly money demands. Twenty thousand baht and up. Why does a Thai girl need 20k+ baht a month? The excuses they used was just their tool to get what they wanted. I mean, you would not believe the excuses and stories they come up with!

      For example, my girlfriends sister, who works at a bar in one of the venues, told my girlfriend about a girl she worked with who has a western guy who lives in Bangkok that is giving her a bunch of money each month. She says it’s because he’s in love with the girl.

      So this girls needs more money. What’d she do? She told him that she’s pregnant from her ex-boyfriend and that the guy left. She said this so she could get a little more money each month. Guess what. That’s right! This girl is she is still with the guy who got her pregnant! This is happening right now! In the short term this sponsor is helping the girl, but she’s not with him for the reason he thinks. If he thinks after she has the baby she’s going to stay with him he’s going to be seriously disappointed!

      Some of the stories I’ve heard you wouldn’t believe. The audacity of some of these girls is just un-freakin-believable! If they get caught, then you’re no good. If they don’t, behind your back most think you’re a stupid farang and that they’re Einstein.

      Here’s another site with some good stories if you dare:

      Man, if my girl knew I was putting this stuff on the net she’d kill me and her sister would burn the corpse, chop it up and feed it to the soi dogs.

      What else you wanna know?

    • “According to Thai Bargirls Investigations, at least 3 of every 4 girls in a relationship with a guy is in some way lying to him. Can you believe it?”

      Yeah, but bear in mind:

      – these statistics are from a website trying to market services that depend on infidelity.
      – there’s a marketing slant to it, possibly.
      – and he deals with demographics with a higher likelihood of bullshit taking place.

      Besides, he doesn’t know my girl like I know her, if you know what I mean…


    • I just tell them “ฉันเป็นครูฝึกสอนโลมา”

    • We don’t depend on infidelity. We depend on a client base of guys who want to know where they stand. Should the very long list of human frailties and foibles some day pass into history, we will quietly turn to other endeavors. And some day pigs may fly… 

      As to the aspersions you choose to cast, Mr. Duck, we respectfully suggest that you gain a few years of practical experience before you attack the numbers. 

      And should you object to the marketing methods we employ, you may also like to have a go at food and beverage concerns which have the temerity to suggest that their potential customers might be hungry. Or those horrible people that make and sell smoke detectors: how dare they prey on people’s fears! 

      Our clients want the facts. We go get the facts for our clients. Roughly 75% of the time the facts are not in concert with the client’s expectations or the girl’s representations. End of story. 

      Thank you, Raider, for the mention and thank you site admins for the platform to respond to Mr. Duck’s snarky and short-sighted nonsense. 

    • Fair enough, Adam, and I stand corrected.

      I’m just naturally skeptical of any sources that “have something to gain” from the information they disseminate. Call me “jaded from American advertising” 😉 Nevertheless, please accept my apologies for mis-characterizing your information and business — you would be correct in assuming that I lack the experience of some of your clients, or probably having seem some of the crap (or, entertainment, as it may) that you undoubtedly have seen.

      On a serious note, could you be enticed to share some of your anecdotes and experiences and contribute to our site’s collection of tales – or alternatively, any informative corrections will always be welcome.

      ….plus, who knows, there might always be possible business procuring information on the loons at that other site 😉

    • Mr. Duck, your apology is accepted, and mine’s offered in return if I came on a little strong. I think were the positions reversed, you might understand the reasons why. Every time this topic comes up on Thai nightlife sites, it gets pounced on by hordes of know-nothings, although to your credit you seem to have some intellectual capacity and the ability to climb down for an ill-considered position.

      The list of things we have to deal with is pretty long, but in quick summary the major sore points…

      No, people aren’t idiots for hiring private investigators as there are any number of situations a person just can’t be on the spot to look into for themselves, especially if another party is actively seeking to deceive. We all need others to help with our problems in one regard or another. When was the last time you killed your own dinner, represented yourself in court or even cut your own hair? Hardly Q.E.D. but at least isn’t there a glimmer of hope that the service might be useful in some instances?

      No, they’re not all lying little whores, etc. Any number of girls successfully transition out of bar work, that period of her life is just left quietly behind and love or a reasonable facsimile of it blossoms. Sometimes anyhow. The failure rate of relationships with ex-bargirls is probably higher than average, even if they don’t ultimately end up back in the bar.

      And yes, there are some some self-styled “investigators” around who are playing both sides of the game or outright scamming. It’s disgusting to me personally but there’s little that can be done when the whole segment is unregulated. If you want a paraphrase of Godwin’s Law: in a sufficiently long Thai forum thread the probability of someone accusing “all PIs are scammers” rapidly approaches 1.

      Anecdotes? Not really. A lot of PI stories are either mundane or “you had to be there”-funny. If you haven’t been on the job, you might not get it without a lot of tedious explication. If you want a media session, send an email with your interview questions or proposal for other formats.

      Procuring information on the loons… No. Unless they happen to be bargirls. We’re specialized. You need a more general investigations agency. Again send an email and we can give you a referral. Please understand that since you’ve publicly inferred seeking such information, we can’t assist you directly. We don’t have a dog in this fight and discretion is a two-way street.

    • No worries, my reference to Loon Investigations was made tongue-in-cheek. There’s woefully little of interest about these guys, and soon we’ll care even less.

      You do intimate an interesting offer, specifically what you call the ‘media session’. I didn’t think an interview of sorts would be a real possibility, but if you’re game, I’ll check if our readers have any particular questions (a la Slashdot) and I’m sure we can put something together that can provide us all with some interesting information (and please, always feel free to jump in and correct should you see factual inaccuracies in anything talked about around here).

      The problem with online written communication is always that intent and tone are difficult to ascertain, so oftentimes a comment could be interpreted as unnecessarily or unintentionally rough. No worries.

      Look forward to your reply.

  3. SBDOTKU said

    What points? Someone was making points? Sorry, I just got back from buying my girl a bunch of Louie V bags and shoes at the mall. What did I miss?

  4. Daywalker said

    But how many farangs are lying to the girls also?

    I keep telling girls I am an oil field roustabout. All goes well until they asked me what that involves.

  5. adman said

    Mr. Daywalker. I don’t see how that’s a problem as the simple explanation is you lay pipe. Something the girls are quite familiar with.

    • Daywalker said

      Something along the lines of extracting natural fluids and polluting the environment might fit in there also?

  6. BigDummyKenny said

    @ Raider – No doubt the easiest way to find out if a girl has a boyfriend is to see who’s picking her up and dropping her off. On my last visit I’d see the guys waiting on their motorcycles at closing time waiting at the end of Soi Cowboy for their girls to finish work. But it’s far from foolproof. I saw a number of girls come in taxis and the subway system.

    I just find it hard to imagine that a western guy would buy into the idea that a relationship is about love when the girl doesn’t care to spend that much time with him. On top of that, paying her money for her time and somehow he comes to the conclusion that he has a meaningful relationship?

    Seems to be more a case of wishful thinking to me.

  7. BangkokMilkshakes said

    dont have a long term relationship with a prostitute. Thats my top-tip.

    • BarRaider said

      Having a relationship with a girl from one of the venues can work out but the odd are overwhelming it will not. Look at the Thai Bar Girl Investigation statistics.

      In my experience the girls have many more issues and in most cases it’s too much of a bother to deal with the drama and the lies. The extent to which some of these girls have been conditioned to lie about things is almost impossible to change.

      The double standard is quite impossible to deal with. I’ve run into a few of these fuck toys who would actually say something like, “Yea, so what?” when they knew you caught them in a lie. But if you lie to them, look out! You’d think you’ve just told them you fucked her sister! It used to piss me off but after it happened a few times (the lie, not fucking her sister) I realized it’s just how they operate.

      You guys who are in a relationship with one of these girls right now, if you had to leave Thailand for a couple weeks do you feel you could trust your girl or not? If not then you should re-evaluate your relationship and listen to that voice inside your head.

      There are many girls out there who would love to meet a foreign guy for a long term relationship who don’t have the issues venue girls have.

    • “Don’t ever ask a girl a question that requires her to lie, to make you happy”

      A simple rule.

  8. Daywalker / Graham said

    Oh no… shock horror….. Kenny is attacking me (behind another screen name) on his Titanic site. (it’s already hit the iceberg)

    Currently I am the topic along with my girlfriend. The one that I split with well over a year ago! For those of you the know me, my ‘agreement’ with her was well publicized. Read my submission on the Mango Blog. I knew the girl through a friend. We hung out – I never bar-fined her from her bar. When we hung out, we had a good time. I didn’t even fancy her to begin with. We had a laugh. What she was doing for work was her business. Got to pay rent after all. One day I decided that the money she was scratching around for having to sell her arse was less than I was spending partying. So I gave her the option of jacking it in and spending time with me when I’m in town. No biggie. No secret. All my mates and patrons at the bar knew her – so she knew that if she fucked around she’d get caught. But then she did the math – she could go for a short time for 1500 with some over-weight sex tourist – (like Kenny) or she could sit and watch a dvd eating (she did a lot of that) knowing that she is making more money by doing nothing and hanging with a ‘middle-aged’ 33 year old. Bar girls may lack an education but are not so dumb.

    I am a realist – so I knew that various old customers who she had a good relationship with, will one day come calling on their 2 week annual vacation. What’s a hooker to do? Well, she also had the incentive that I’d build her a house after a year of her being a good girl.

    After a while, she got bored with doing nothing. She hung with friends and played cards. I even gave all her mates a couple of thousand each to play together so a good time was had by all. No biggie. She wanted to improve her English – so I paid for English lesson… didn’t last long.. she was too lazy to attend. I started to tire of her laziness and if I am honest, I was partly responsible. I wouldn’t let her work in the bar because it wouldn’t be fair on the other staff.. they’d feel that a traitor was there watching them!

    Moving on, my work started taking me around the world more often. It wasn’t fair to keep her hanging on and letting her think I was going to one day marry her and live with her. Her end goal was to go live with her kids up country in her house and have noodle shop or spa. Her ‘busy’ past meant that she had made a fair bit of cash and invested it wisely. I didn’t fit into her future, and she didn’t fit into mine.

    She didn’t steal from me (apart from my food). If she wanted money, then I gave it to her. It’s not like she had my ATM card or bank details. So wrong again Ken!

    We parted. Not on bad terms. She didn’t fancy going back to the bar (loss of face) so spoke about a Spa course. I told her I’d happily help her out there and if she completes the official course and gets certified, I’d even buy her a Spa/Massage business. What a nice guy I am. She started the course but didn’t finish it.

    Deal breaker. She had a chance. She failed. I don’t give second chances. What she is doing know is anyone’s guess. It’s not my business and I wish her well.

    So there you have it. Kenny can speculate all he likes. I am not embarrassed, ashamed or even regretful. I might have had a relationship with a bargirl – but it didn’t start out as a customer picking a number from a line up. I was never a customer and she was never the hired hooker. For other she was. I am not deluding myself. She would come see me after she’d finished ‘work’. We both knew the score.

    So Kenny et all… you’ll have to try harder. The constant lies and insults to not harm me. Yes I am bald and over weight. Don’t forget that I am a short arse too. But let me tell you this – I smile everyday! I mix with some really great people who I’ve met in the bar. I’ve heard many tales and told many myself. I’ve given advice and taken it.

    I can walk down the street and everyone knows who I am. I can talk with the girls who don’t treat me like a sex tourist and other bar owners give me a mutual respect. My life is fun. How is yours? And for the record, I am not rich. Far from it. I don’t claim to be a ‘billionaire’ as you so put it! Maybe in Vietnam.

    Yes, I have the odd nice car (personally, that Ferrari sucked) and I may have the odd holiday home here and there. But I am by no means rich. Reason being, I spend it all on having fun! The people I hang with eclipse me tenfold. No biggie. It seems to be an issue/topic that means more to you than me.

    To wrap this up, I implore the haters to come speak to me and make their own mind up. It’s a pity that so many people believe what is said by you and take it as gospel.

    Or do they?

    I am an open book. I don’t hide behind my screen
    So Kenny, in the words of Charlie Sheen…”I’m winning’!! What’s your story?

    Do you have one? I bet if you had a near death experience and your life flashed before you – you’d not be in it.

    Anyone for a beer?

    P.S. – I am not into soapies or G clubs. Another fabrication out there!

    • BarRaider said

      All the shit those morons on BigBabyKenny are doing aside, if more expats would handle their girls the same way you did everyone would be better off. Expecially the girls. I’m sure you know why, but let me explain for those who don’t get it.

      The next time she get a guy nice enough to give her money for completing a course (which only benefits her lazy ass) she may just remember what happened the last time and actually follow through.

      These guys that don’t stand on principles when the girl fucks up isn’t doing anyone any good.

    • Graham – I think those of us who know you, know quite well that Kenny’s making stuff up again, with the intention of hurting you and getting a reaction out of you.

      Those who have spent more than 20 minutes on Kenny’s site can also figure out the same.

      The main and utmost purpose of these fabrications is to get you, or anyone of us, to post in response – he must really be pretty desperate for traffic by now. Those single-digit traffic rates must be painful to look at every day.

      Raider – don’t get me started. 😉

    • Daywalker said

      Oh I just love it when the losers over there try ‘picking’ on me! Bring it on.

      I’m only small, but it seems far too big for them to come out from behind their monitors.
      – as Kenny well knows.

    • Their constant desperate pleas for attention are no different than other phone manufacturers declaring their phone to be *the* iPhone killer. All they are really saying is “iPhone is number one, and we’re trailing behind”.

      This is no different – Kenny & the losers are acknowledging with each of their daily detractions that you (and the others of us being targeted by them) are better than they are, and how pissed they are in realizing that.

      Well, except for Prufrock – he’s truly messed up, as he is still certain that he is talking to me over there, while addressing some sockpuppet that doesn’t even come close.

      So much about his brilliant investigative skills and his relationship with the truth – yet, unlike Kenny, Prufie’s just amusing, in a pathetic, washed up way, at this point.

    • I particularly dig how Prufie contradicts himself frequently even within the same sentence – to wit:

      “I rarely comment on things over there on Big Dummy because I never go there”

      “rarely comment” : so, he is admitting on commenting on things over here, obviously under yet another alias, because he enjoys posting under different names….

      “because I never go there” : yet, he is *never* here.

      Run that by me again, Prufie … how does that work? …and they let you teach English? Really?

      Well, at least you’re not teaching “critical thinking” — Hahaha Hehehe Hohoho!

  9. Are you the guy who tried to beat him up at the Biergarten and he was so scared to leave he paid a couple of girls to get the police to help him?

    I’m writing a book about this and it ends with Kenneth Ng getting murdered on his next trip to Thailand.

    I’m on Chapter 3 right now BTW.

    • Interesting project – fiction, I take it?

    • Of course. The non-fiction version just has the shit getting kicked out of him by some expert employees.

    • Daywalker said

      It was I that was in the Biergarten where I spotted Kenny. And yes, he did make ‘arrangements’ which saw the Police turn up and stand next to me whilst Kenny had a little exercise by running for the door.

      Did I try and beat him up? I can’t really say that kicking the arse of an old fat man is something I’d be proud of.

    • RealDaffyDuck said

      By the way, shouldn’t that be “Aerobics Instructor Daeng” instead of “General Daeng”?

      That was his last official position, wasn’t it?

    • Wombat said

      Fat boy running? I would have liked to have seen that.

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