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BarRaider: But My Thai Girl is Different – Part 3of3

Posted by BigDummyKenny on March 26, 2011

So your girl passes the time and commitment criteria. Are you absolutely sure? Does your girl use any of these excuses? Come on. Come clean. You can face reality now or face reality later. The choice is yours but remember this: it’s just going to be harder the deeper you get into the relationship.

Now there’s just one other issue that guys complain about after splitting with their no good ex-girlfriend that we need to address and that is


(Here is part 1)

(Here is part 2)

To state the obvious, dealing with a girls money demands can be a bit tricky unless you know all her financial needs. This means knowing her, her family and their behavior and habits.

After going out with different girls and hearing all types of bullshit excuses about why the girl wanted money I draw a hard line in what I consider a reasonable need and unreasonble need. Taking care of herself is reasonable; food, clothes, rent. The only other reasonable need is sending money home to her family (but with limits. I’ll explain later.). Unless her parents are dead or the family is very well off, you most likely aren’t going to get away with not giving them at least some money. Everything else? A scam or some bullshit reason.

The family is very important for the girl and for most Thai girls it’s the single most important thing in her life. But forget what some say about the family always coming first. That’s crap. They may always be first from a financial perspective and that’s it! She just wants to make sure they don’t starve and they are comfortable. Reasonable, right?

Not to get too far off track, but I say that’s crap because it’s coming from guys who are either bitter or don’t know better. If the girl really is into you, she will put you first from an emotional support and a commitment perspective. It’s not all about the money and you will come first! She’ll be so into you it’s something you can’t believe until you experience it. Fact. She may even go against her family’s advice about her relationship with you. I know because I’ve seen it first hand. That won’t change unless you fuck it up somehow. How do I know? I know because somehow I’ve managed to fuck it up with two different girls! What can I say, nobody’s perfect.

Where were we? Ah, money. OK, so has your girl come to you demanding money and the amounts have increased or been increasingly frequent? I suggest you look yourself in the mirror after your girl has made her latest demand and ask some hard questions.

If not to her then at least in your own mind, ask: Is the amount of money you’re giving something you can continue to do long term? Do you suspect she’s doing something with the money that you wouldn’t approve of if you found out? Do you resent her asking for so much/so often? Now, is this the type of long term relationship you can tolerate? For how long? Because if she keeps making more and more demands in the long term this will foster resent. Are you already there? Then you know. Perhaps the single most important question you need to ask is this: what is she doing with the money?

If you ask and the answer she gives you doesn’t sound right, follow up! I hate to break it to you but if you’re giving her 2k here and 4k there more than a couple times a week most likely the answer will be a lie. Most times it’s to coverup other things going on in her life. This may include a drug habit, gambling habit, boyfriend, money hungry relatives, alcoholism and possibly even involvement with organized crime. I’ve run into girls with only one of these problems and others with multiple issues. Yea, some of these girls are real winners under the skin. The biggest hurdle you’ll have is just getting the girl to admit to the problem. More than half of these girls I’ve run into won’t tell you. She’ll give you a bullshit excuse thinking she’s smarter than you and that you’ll buy it. You’ll know it’s bullshit – walk away! Ask yourself, is this the type of girl you want to stay with long term? Relationships are built on trust.

If she’s lying to you the relationship she has is with your money, not you.

Some of these girls will never ever admit to where the money is going. Even if you saw her first hand (provided she didn’t see you) she will deny! I once saw a girl of mine buy nearly 3000 baht of lottery tickets and when I asked about it she denied. Then proceeded to lie about what she did with the money I gave her. No joke here guys. Are you listening? There is no limit to the extent some girls will go to protect their financial interest. Unfortunately, the younger the girl and poorer the upbringing the more determined they seem to be about deceiving you. I had another girl tell me that she was spending almost 15k a month shopping. She often wore the same clothes week in and week out. When I went to her apartment her small closet was only 1/2 full of clothes! I also saw a guy’s pair of shoes and jacket. What do you think I did?

Look, I know it sounds like I’m venting against all Thai girls but I’m not. I’m telling you what I’ve run into and things I’ve heard and seen. I know this sounds like all Thai girls lie but it’s not that way. I’m just providing the examples of what some girls do and say and why they need to lie so you make a rational and informed decision concerning your own relationship. If it’s not working, move on. You deserve better and you certainly can find better (outside the venues too), this is Thailand and it’s not as hard as you may think.

So how much money is reasonable for the family? You need to weigh things carefully. How big is her family, where do they live, etc. If your girl really is different she won’t let her ma or pa extort money from you. Having been to 10 or so home of girlfriends and talking to a number of friends I believe a reasonable amount is 5k-8k, 10k tops, for the girl to send to her family each month. Even if the parents have 3 kids and your girl has a kid the parents are taking care of it’s still enough. Anything more and you can be sure the parents have some bad habits of their own. If you don’t mind giving more, good for you. Just know it’s almost surely being wasted on some bad habit that one or both of her parents have or the money is going elsewhere.

If you’re getting demands for more money or there are regular “family emergencies” that come up something else is going on! Story: One girl I went out with for about a month came up with 3 different medical excuses 3 days in a row for the same amount. That one wasn’t too bright (but she had a really nice ass…I quickly found one nicer).

A few giveaways you’re not getting the truth is when the girl says a parent or grandparent is ill and won’t tell you the doctor’s name or the phone number so that you can pay the bill directly. The bill being a nice round number of 5k or 10k is another dead giveaway you’re getting scammed. You want to be a sucker or have a girlfriend? Move on. Another way is to tell her you need the receipt for the services (no ya dope, not LT/ST services, the providers services). You’ll find that most often the receipt is conveniently forgotten or lost.

Even if she’s passed the time and commitment criteria, if you see these things happen you should consider moving on. Why? Because it’s a financial arrangement in her mind, nothing more! You need to consider the probability that she’ll only be with you as long as the money keeps coming. Read that again please.

I mean, WTF. All you’re really doing is sponsoring her.

Speaking of sponsoring…if you’re sponsoring your girl and think it’s keeping her out of the bar you may want to think again. The girls and people who benefit from the money these girls are bringing in have become very creative in keeping the girl working. There exists a network of places these girls can work. If she thinks you won’t find out (maybe you don’t live in the country or she knows your routine – where you go and don’t go) she might even go back to the same place after a couple weeks. If you live in country, she’ll go to one of the alternate venues. Over the years I’ve personally known of three girls who’ve told me they were quitting the bar or massage parlor and I see them show up at another place, be it a massage parlor or another gogo bars outside the Big Three venues (Nana, Soi Cowboy and Patpong). In fact, the first place I go if a friend asks me to check up on his lady is the soapies on Ratchada or venue near where she lives. If the girl lives in the Huay Kwang – Ratchada area it’s very easy for them to get a job at Nataree (which is just a freelance soapy joint), Ceasars or even The Resort G-Club if the girl’s a stunner.

Is that it? Not quite. But BigDummyKenny told me this was getting too long so I’ve got a conclusion post. For now just let me remind you to listen to your friends and listen to that voice (in your head). They’re usually right.

The last part is the conclusion.


5 Responses to “BarRaider: But My Thai Girl is Different – Part 3of3”

  1. david shiel said

    Nuff said!

  2. BangkokMilkshakes said

    if youre going to have a relationship with a hooker then im sure this is all good advice, but if youre in Bkk for any serious length of time, why not just get a normal, professional girlfriend, one who has a job, an education and an independent family? then keep the whores for the uncomplicated fun, which is surely what they are there for? I can see literally no reason to bother having any kind of long term relationship with a prostitute.

    • BarRaider said


      Right Dude! Why go looking for a relationship with a slut on Walking Street, Soi Cowboy or any other venue when there are so many other places a guy could find a girl who wants a long term relationship who isn’t a hooker. Hell, I can come up with a dozen without a second thought.

      On the other hand, I don’t think anyone goes into a gogo or massage joint saying I hope I find my girlfriend here, do you? These girls latch onto a guy for a number of reasons, most often money, and get tangled into the guys life. Hell, they may even like the guy, but for most, if not for the money, she would be gone. Even if she doesn’t like the guy, she’ll say she does if the guy is giving her a bunch of cash. Girlfriend Experience. Makes me grin each time I hear that.

      The people I wrote this for are those guys who fall into one of these relationships and are in denial about why the girl’s really with him. I wasn’t joking about the EBAM’s (Expat Bitchers And Moaners) that I hear complaining at Morning Night or Big Dogs or outside the gogos on Soi Cowboy. These are mostly old geezers who sure as hell shoulda known better. Especially the ones who live in Thailand! WTF is wrong with them? You get involved with a girl because you paid her for sex and now you’re complaining because you found out she has two other guys who are doing the same thing and a Thai boyfriend? WTF Dumbass.

      I literally want to slap these guys off their barstool. They probably had friends who tried to wise them up and they wouldn’t listen. They probably saw subtle and not so subtle signs and still wouldn’t listen.

      Even if you’re not with a venue girl, you should consider what I’ve said. Some of the girls who I’ve met in clubs and got involved with I suspect were venue girls because of their behavior. So the same rules apply if I start having my doubts.

  3. Spot On said

    Go out with a Thai chick and see how long she stays around if you’re not constantly giving her money or gifts. Most of them won’t stick around, even if you’re giving them a good life and paying for everything when you go out. If you’re not handing them cash or gift they’re gone.

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