BigDummyKenny

No Something. No Another Thing. No Something Else.

SBDOTKU – Return to Man Heaven – Part 3 – Chiang Mai

Posted by RealDaffyDuck on April 5, 2011

The next morning I had to say good-bye to my new groin galvanizer as I was hopping on a plane and flying to Chiang Mai. I let her know I would give her a call when I came back but didn’t bother to give the exact date of my return.

I’m sure everyone knows why. (Part 1 and Part 2)

I had never been to Chiang Mai and had wanted to check it out for years. I had heard it compared to San Francisco – cooler temperatures, mellow vibe (compared to Bangkok), a thriving art community. Besides, I figured that since it was the second biggest city in Thailand it had to have a pretty good girl scene. I mean, Pattaya wasn’t anywhere near as large and it was a brothel by the ocean pretending to be a city, right?

I was looking forward also to flying out of Don Muang. Though I have traveled to several places in Thailand and the surrounding countries I have always flown out of Suvarnabhumi, never Don Muang.

After passing through security, I got in the check-in line. As I was waiting, I noticed the gentleman in front of me with one of those Leatherman-like tools on his belt. Almost without a doubt containing a large locking blade – security at its finest!

And I found it very humorous, and pretty smart, that they had clothing “shops” on the sides of the terminal where the waiting areas were. There was also a place to get foot massages. And since I had arrived and checked in with plenty of time to spare, I promptly decided it was time to have one. U.S. airports definitely need to adopt this.

The flight was short and uneventful and I landed in Chiang Mai in mid-morning. I found the “official” airport taxi booth and booked a taxi. I then waited for a few minutes for one to arrive.

My driver spoke excellent English and had worked on oil projects before becoming a semi-retired taxi driver in Chiang Mai. He was enjoyable to talk to and gave me his card and told me to call if I needed anything. (Yeah, right.)

Got to my hotel and was rather disappointed. It was my third choice, as the other two I wanted had been full and, well, third choice definitely wasn’t the charm.  Though the hotel lobby was in pretty good condition, the hotel overall was fairly run down. But at least my room was clean and it was in a good location.

Now it was time to go out and explore. I grabbed my map and headed out to discover the two most important things any of us would want to find out: 1) where is there good food and 2) where will the girls be tonight?

I had done some research and discovered there was really only one official gogo in Chiang Mai: Spotlight. I went to go find this first so that I would know where to go tonight. It didn’t look too far from my hotel so I decided to walk.

Chiang Mai is a lot cooler than Bangkok and anywhere South. I had on shorts and a polo shirt and felt great. Of course all of the Thai people I saw had on at least pants and a long sleeve shirt if not a jacket too.

It turns out Spotlight is on the street that forms the Eastern boundary of “Old Town,” Khotchasan Road, where the ancient walled city of Chiang Mai used to be back when it was the capital of the Lanna Empire. Some of the moat (now a “water feature”) and the wall still exist. In this picture they are out of frame to the left.

I do want to mention that on my way there I also stopped in at another somewhat interesting place – a huge Thai bookstore (South of Spotlight, also on Khotchasan Road). It had a huge assortment of books in Thai, including all types of schoolbooks. I looked through them for a while trying to find ones that could help me learn the language but finally gave it up as a bad try and continued on to find the gogo and some food.

I had a recommendation for some Northern Thai food at a restaurant that my buddy said was “very near” to Spotlight. How near? It turned out to be about 30 more meters beyond, if that. The restaurant name was Aroon Rai, and it has been around there for quite a while from what I understand.

My buddy had recommended their sausages, as they were particularly representative of the Northern Thai spices. I had a few of them with some weird onion garnishment, which I also ate (what? I would brush my teeth before going out tonight). Very good and definitely mild for Thai food.

I then headed West, across the very busy road and moat, towards the Old Town. I had purposely planned my trip to include a Sunday because one of the major attractions in the city was its Sunday street market in Old Town. They close off all the streets to traffic and it becomes a full pedestrian zone. It is a great market with many interesting and unique pieces of art (along with all the typical tourist shite if you don’t get your fill of it elsewhere). Old Town is very nice and has some great old temples, if you are into that at all. Didn’t see too many hot girls walking around, but I did see a lot of guys like these in the photo.

I had read, and saw the proof as this photo is an example, that Chiang Mai was a big retirement place for farang. While I obviously didn’t do a major survey, I can say that the majority of other falang I saw in Chiang Mai were either older males (65+) or tourist families. I admit there may be as farang retirees in Bangkok but there are so many other younger and middle-age guys that they just don’t stand out.

Anyway, walked around the street market, bought some souvenirs for people back home, then went back to the hotel to shower and get ready for the evening.

Showered, shaved and wearing quality fabrics, I decided to walk to the gogo to check it out. I had also read and been told that there were several freelancer bars around, and that that was where most of the action was, but I thought I would start with the obvious and go from there.

I don’t think I got there before 9:00 PM, but it could have been 6:00 PM for all the action going on. Granted, it was Sunday night, so not exactly a night for full-on partying, but there were only about 6 guys (all farang, all but one gray-haired) in the place and a couple of chubby dancers. Not a good start. But I got a drink and decided to relax for a little while and see how things progressed. Another telltale sign that Chiang Mai and this gogo in particular were a hang out for older farang? Late 60s / early 70s rock music blasting from the house stereo. Maybe 30 minutes in to my visit, all of a sudden there were several new girls in the gogo and some more customers started showing up. I saw one particularly cute girl so I thought I’d buy her a drink and get to know her. Cute, petite with luscious lips and a bit more Chinese in the shape of her eyes, but not to the degree I had been lead to imagine girls from this region were supposed to look like – but WTF, she was plenty cute and sweet. We sat and chatted for a while and I found myself enjoying her. She got to the point after a bit and put her hand on my crotch and said “I want him” smiling and winking at the same time. So I had a decision to make, did I want to leave and go find another place and hopefully find another girl or is the bush in my hand worth birds somewhere else? Hmmm, long night last night, early wake-up call to get to the flight, long day spent walking around, plenty cute-enough girl that passed all the tests…Decision made. She wanted to go short time, which was fine with me. The one thing I made sure of about my hotel is that it was guest friendly. Atsiam.com actually has that as a selection category  (but still check agoda.com for the best rate to book) and I had done a web search and found a few websites that had recommendations as well.

Barfine paid, we grabbed a tuktuk – I wasn’t going to make her walk, and made the short trip to my hotel. As advertised, not even a blink from the front desk staff as I walked with my new friend past them on the way to the elevator.

Once in my room, it was shower time. She let me take this picture then she headed to the bathroom.

Out of the shower for me and down to business. She had a nice tight, petite body and we started to get started. I have got to admit, here is where it becomes a bit of a bummer. The girls in Bangkok and Pattaya get a schooling when they get there. They either get it together or they don’t last. This little one was obviously not a city sophisticate and, well, how to put this delicately? I began to notice a bit of an, um, aroma, shall we say? Though the girl was very clean, she was obviously near her time of the month and hadn’t taken care of making sure she was fresh as a flower. But by the time I noticed I was already in for the plunge. Protection on, torpedo away! I obviously was not in the mood to make it last a long time and so went through some standard positions and then went for mine. As they say, even when it’s bad, it’s good.

Somewhere along the way I found out a very interesting fact about my new friend, she was illiterate. She couldn’t read – Thai or English. As a matter of fact, I could read Thai better than she could  – and I sound like a three year old with their first book you don’t actually chew on. Why am I mentioning this? Well, for one, this is the first Thai I have met who was illiterate and two the question immediately went off in my mind: “why is she telling me this? Is she lying to get my sympathy?” So I decided to test her. She was ready to go so was calling for a tuktuk to come pick her up. When they asked for the name of the hotel she looked at me. I said I couldn’t remember (because I honestly couldn’t) but rather than find out and tell her, I quickly picked up the hotel writing pad and handed it to her. The name of the hotel was printed in both Thai and English on it. She looked at it, looked frustrated, and handed me back the pad along with her phone and asked me to read it to the driver. Which I did. So, unless that was an Oscar caliber performance, she really was illiterate. Anyway, I gave her some baht and walked her outside and stayed with her until the tuktuk arrived and waved her on her way. All in all, a mixed experience.

It was time to get some sleep as I was going to get up early the next day to check out the biggest tourist attraction in Chiang Mai, Wat Phra That Doi Suthep. We all see pictures of it in every TAT photo montage – it is the shiny golden stupa with the golden metallic parasol-looking item in front of it. I was determined to check it out before my evening flight back to BKK.

I got up early and was ready to go early in the morning and was determined to get up the mountain before the crowds. Here is where a little luck would have been nice but was not to be. I hadn’t quite figured out how to get up there. I knew there was a bunch of song-thaews that went up there and thought I knew where they were and the cost. Just to cover my bases I thought I’d ask the front desk staff, because obviously they must get this question all the time and probably know all the specifics, right? Deers, headlights, blank stares. But the two did recommend I may want to take the song-thaew waiting conveniently in front of the hotel.

Luckily at least one pick-up location was designated on my map (Groovy Maps, if you are curious. They are pretty helpful, except for…) along with the what the price should be.

For future reference, the pick-up location is just North/outside the North gate of the Old Town wall. BUT the cost was not what was indicated on my map. I honestly can’t remember what it was now but at the end of the day it wasn’t too outrageous.

After some walking, and getting a bit lost, so more walking, I finally find the pick-up location, negotiate the price and… wait. And wait. And wait. Of course the driver doesn’t want to leave without a full load so we are waiting for more people to show up. Ah well, so much for getting there for any early morning light and before the crowds.

About an hour later the driver finally figures we have something near a full load and we all pile in for the drive up the mountain. The very CURVY drive up the mountain. Warning: if you get car sick, be sure to sit near the back of the song-thaew and in one that is as open to fresh air as possible. I don’t usually get car sick, but even I was feeling queasy by the time we made it to our destination. Our driver made a big deal about saying when he was leaving and that we should note the license plate and be sure to find him. Concerned that all the song-thaews were similarly reserved, I set my alarm on my phone and went to check out the Wat.

The Wat was beautiful and I got a bunch of great pictures to show all my female friends and family members what I did on my vacation to Thailand. Before I knew it, my alarm was going off and it was time to head back to my song-thaew.

Down I went to find my driver – no luck, gone. But my concern was needless as there was a guy down there asking where people were going and directing them to one song-thaew or another. I was really impressed with myself as I was able to negotiate my rate at 50B less than the farang before me, because I did it in Thai. So if I remember correctly he paid 200B and I paid 150B. (And now that I think about it, I think the trip up might have been 200-250B.) That’s right, I saved an entire 50B. If felt like a local (rolls eyes).

I honestly can’t remember if I stayed there another (unaccompanied) night or if I went back to Bangkok that day. Memory says I went back to BKK. My plan was definitely not to call my new sweetie, but to check out the secret honey pot my buddy and I had found a couple of years ago for super cute, fresh girls and see if the honey was still flowing. But that, my friends, is for the next part. (End Part 3. Coming Up: Part 4, The Honey Pot)

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