BigDummyKenny

No Something. No Another Thing. No Something Else.

10 Guidelines for Hobbyists…

Posted by RealDaffyDuck on May 23, 2011

I came across this rather well put-together list of “10 Guidelines” on another site geared towards Thai oriented mongers or hobbyists (I never liked the term ‘mongers’ though), and thought it might make for a little article and reason to open up a similar discussion – what are your suggestions and/or what have you found works for you?

Personally, I think the best advice is “Don’t follow any advice or guidelines religiously” – just like the Pirate Code, it’s more “guidelines” rather than “rules” 🙂

  1. Always remember – mongering is NOT meant to replace a family – wife and kids. It’s supposed to spice up your life – not to be the center of your life.
  2. Don’t try to enlighten the girls or the locals in general: they have their own ways. Keep it cool when you encounter displays of ineficiancy, beourocracy, silliness and coruption: it was YOUR choice to travel to a 3rd world country, and , always remember: had it not been a 3rd world country, you would’t be having such bedmates for so little money on the first place.
  3. If you aren’t young, fit, charming and hansom – you will find it very hard to get a “10” experience from a “10” looking girl (though it can happen sometimes). Therefore, make up your mind – do you go for “10” service from “7+” girls, or do you go for “6-” service from “9+” girls. Remember: regardless of your shape, looks and age – money can get you a 9-10 looking girl… but it doesn’t mean you will get a 10-9 experience from her. here, money won’t always help you (sometimes it will even have a bad effect).
  4. Remember: It’s always about money, but it isn’t always ONLY about money. Some girls may be fond of you, some girls may despise you. The first will give you better time than the latter: take care of your manners, hygene and appearance.
  5. Don’t try to impress girls with your hotel room, fancy restaurants and extensive payments. Displays of money or / and large tips will not get you better service – maybe even the opposite.
  6. “Whenever there is some doubt – you should have no doubt”: if you doubt her age – you should consider her a minor; if you doubt her gender – you must consider her a man; if you doubt her sobriety – you must consider her high on nasty drugs; if you doubt her sanity – you must consider her a nutcase. Better safe than sorry – move to the next one.
  7. Never fight with a girl, and don’t try to “work out the relationship” – the moment it starts to look bad – smile, thank her for her time, pay her and move on.
  8. If you are strong enough to be sure you obey # 7 – feel free to stay with a girl you like for as long as you want. Don’t harry to banish a girl you are having a good time with. fuck the “1 night ” rule.
  9. Don’t attempt to prove nothing to yourself, the girls or fellow punters: if you enjoy the girl – don’t dump her because one of your friends thinks she is ugly; if you feel sleepy and lacking energy– don’t force yourself to take a girl (esp. if you don’t see anyone you like) – it’s OK to take a night off if you feel like it; Don’t get into drinking competitions – your highschool days are over; Don’t pop 3 V pills to show her you are the greatest lover she has ever had – you are not; Don’t get in a fight with other punters over your girlfriend’s honor – she isn’t your girlfriend, and it’s not your duty to protect her honor.
  10. Don’t follow the above (or any other advices) too zealously – you can swim with the current / play by ear… as long as you keep one eye open to watch your 6: remember – you are NOT in your country.
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9 Responses to “10 Guidelines for Hobbyists…”

  1. david shiel said

    #6 and #10 about do it huh?

    That should just about do it.

  2. JustinCider said

    Excellent list! Should be handed out at the airport with the arrival cards.

  3. Daywalker said

    “If there is a doubt, then there is no doubt”
    – Robert DeNiro. Ronin.

    Excellent film. That theory stopped him getting killed by the baddies also.

    • bigbabykennethng said

      Daywalker,

      I’m sorry can I come back to the Mango and talk with the crew again?

      Kenny

    • SBDOTKU said

      Ah. Well now we KNOW this isn’t BBK. The man’s ego is much too large to admit any type of mistake, let alone behave in a civil manner.

  4. Daywalker said

    If you play nicely and stop telling them lies now…

    I will greet you with open arms 😉

  5. SBDOTKU said

    These are great rules / suggestions. Unfortunately my penis cannot read.

  6. Mr. Obvious said

    Looks like Kenny is attempting to resurrect his sex tourist website on wordpress. Anyone else see the latest additions?

    # Japanese Sex Tourist in Bangkok – What you can learn from them
    # Getting a Ball Massage by Professor Kenneth Ng

  7. Union Jack said

    Very good list there Mate. Especially so with #4.

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