No Something. No Another Thing. No Something Else.

adman: Girlfriend vs. Girlfriend

Posted by BigDummyKenny on October 9, 2011

Most regular readers on BDK.COM know that I don’t live in Thailand.

Up to a couple years ago I’d never been to Thailand. This year I feel like I’ve lived in Thailand permanently with as much time as I’ve spent here.

Having boots on the ground provides you with opportunities that you don’t get as a casual visitor. You meet and befriend other people who live here that you otherwise would never meet.

You also hear stories about things that happen that you otherwise wouldn’t hear.

Something peculiar that happens to western guys here is when girlfriend #1 hears about another girlfriend and then makes plans to meet the girl without so much as a single word to the guy. I’ve never heard about this happening in Canada, the US or any European country. Every relationship in the west where girlfriend #1 finds out about gf #2 results in a fight between gf’s or fight between gf and guy. Not in Thailand. The really interest aspect about it is how the girls seem to have a sort of strange bond with the only common denominator being the guy in question.

A couple of the accounts I’ve heard:

A friend who lives in Thailand 1/2 the year had two girls that he was “kindof seeing”, as he put it. One girl he was “kindof seeing” more than the other, as he gave her a key to his apartment. The other girl that he was flirting with decided to follow him home one day. About a week later he walks into his apartment to find gf #1 talking to gf #2. He said that while he was there the lies that the girls told each other to one up each other and save face was quite incredible. He didn’t know he had so much money in his bank account to buy each girl so many things. At the end of the day he was kindof not seeing either one anymore.

Another friend was at a Starbucks with gf #1 and gf #2 walks in and sees gf #1 and my friend. She calmly orders her coffee and sits down with him and gf #1 and begins to have a polite discussion about who she is and how long each one has been seeing my friend, what they do, what he told her he was doing when he wasn’t with the other gf. You get the picture. It all got quite messy in terms of the questioning and he got grilled.

A local ex-pad I know was seeing a girl and she suspected he was seeing a cute girl at the office (he wasn’t) while waiting for him in the reception area one day. He said as she was leaving with him from his office one day after a “surprise visit”, the questions came fast and furious. Over the course of the next couple weeks she tried to get the other girls name and number. Failing that, she asked for her phone number to talk with her. She finally went to the office on a day he was out of the country so she could meet her in person and talk to her about my buddy. Although nothing was going on, from what he told me, the information which was shared went beyond what would ever be shared in a western place of business. Who he went to lunch with, how late he usually worked.

The lies the girls told each other in each story were quite blatant as I understand. Maybe it the Thai girl’s way to try and save face? I would expect this type of behavior from bar girls, but funny thing is none of the girls were bar girls. I even had this happen to me. Current girl I was dating wanted to know about another girl I had been talking to earlier. I explained that she was a girl I had gone out with before I met her and I hadn’t seen her in several months but it wasn’t good enough. She said she had to go to the bathroom and on the way back had a 10 minute conversation with the girl.

I wonder, is this something that happens to Thai guys too or is it just the western guys that are so careless they get caught? I don’t have many Thai friends who I know well enough to bring this up. I suspect the Thai guys are smart enough to know the nature of the girls and most stay clear of this type of thing. Still I wonder if this is a uniquely Thai behavior and why so many western guys get caught.


14 Responses to “adman: Girlfriend vs. Girlfriend”

  1. BarRaider said

    Sloppy and pompous. That’s why this happens to western guys in Thailand. They read the shit on Professor Ng’s site about giving out copies of their apartment keys to their girlfriends and think that’s how it’s done. Then they’re gob-smacked when they get found out.

    Hey Einstein, here’s something for you to consider: Don’t lie to the girls you’re dating. Put that in your anti-matter accelerator Mr. Rocket Scientist. If it’s casual, tell them so. It they get too clingy, cut them loose. There are waaaaaaayyyyyyy to many girls in Thailand (and up and down Soi 4 especially) for guys to need to lie. Don’t put a Thai girl in a situation where they feel they need to save face and your life in Thailand will have little or no drama.

    • Wow what a morning coffee topic to wake up to……

      Agree with Bar Raider, Sloppy. I think it results from a couple of issues that puts the ex-pat at a disadvantage.

      1. Stupidity
      2. Operating in the same small area of the city socially/living arrangements
      3. Lack of a car
      4. Lack of trusted friends to serve as alibi backup
      5. Something gets lost in translation to often identify the crazy ones early on
      6. Hooking up with girl #1 friends
      7. Over promises to the girl. Hookers have heard this before. Normal girls go over the edge a bit when lied to like this.

      I have a couple of Thai friends who live in Bang Na and take their girls all the way to Bang Saen to eat, go out and grab a room. In that case girl #2 definitely knows the deal.

      Giving a girl a key is saying that the two of you are now in a relationship. 2 locks doesn’t help. The Thai girl who feels slighted will wait outside for you to either leave or arrive.

      Take is from a guy who once had a girl with a lighter, bug spray and newspaper try to smoke me out of my Condo with a bar-girl trapped inside with me.

      “If you don’t make mistakes, you aren’t really trying.”
      ~ Coleman Hawking

    • BigDummyKenny said

      @BBG – Nothing quite says, “I Love You” like a girl wafting smoke and bug spray into your condo.

      I can’t share any first hand stories but last year I recall overhearing someone telling his friend about his girlfriend going “crazy” and trying to get into his secure 4th floor condo by…. scaling the outdoor balconies!

      Funnier yet was she actually made it up to his floor.
      “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.” – Marty McFly (Back to the Future)


    • Graham said

      I also heard the tale of ‘spider-girl’. Although it was a few years back. Maybe there is more than one of them.

      Penthouse is the only way to live!!

    • BarRaider said

      Having a car to get away is a big advantage for guys trying to keep things a secret but the girls will know the deal as you pointed out. Guys coming to Thailand think if the girl has a steady office job or whatever, that will keep her busy during the day and gives him his opportunities – wrong thinking.

      If the girl suspects something funny is going on finding you out will become priority #1 – believe it!

      Hooking up with girlfriends. Well now, that’s a good way to find yourself waking up one night with a sharp steel object pointed somewhere you wish it wasn’t.

  2. My buddy in Hua Hin actually had one of “his girls” from Soi Bintabaht follow him home while he had another girl on the back of his bike.

    No big deal except the girl following him was being driven up to my buddies house by her Thai boyfriend who was angry at him for blowing her off and hence loosing his regular incoming income that he enjoyed for about a month.

    Luckily for him, he’s a really nice guy and takes care of many of Lao/Burma folks building the houses on/near his Soi. They were able to “escort” the gentleman out of the development for the evening.

    • BarRaider said

      Haha! Ahhh yessssss, the Thai boyfriend and bargirls. I’ve written enough on it already but I think it’s worth repeating:

      The majority of the girls working in “Venues” have Thai boyfriends. Asking the girl about it is a futile activity because in almost every instance the girl will lie about it ( though there are some sure ways to find out ) .

      Why do they lie? NUMBER #1 REASON: Because she doesn’t want to ruin her chances of getting some stupid sod on his holiday or a semi-regular visitor to fall for her and become an off-shore sponsor. Why would the girl want to ruin a chance of getting a regular paycheck without working PLUS the bonus of having her entire day free to spend with her boyfriend or find one if she doesn’t have one already. It’s that simple.

      I’ll spare you the stories of my girlfriend’s sister, who still works in the bar, and her gogo workmates. Suffice to say that unless you know of the details first hand and spell it out with a smile on your face they’ll admit nothing 😉

      What I find funny about the Thai boyfriend arrangement as it relates to adman’s post and your comment is how wacky the girls get when the fact is the guy’s double dipping is no worse than her double dipping.

  3. I’ve seen your Penthouse….it could double as a short-time room.

  4. You haven’t been upstairs at Soi 6 then. You truly haven’t done Thailand till your leg slips of that safety towel and hits the cold jizzz of another on the short time bed. Dead rotting bodies in Gulf War I made me feel less nauseous.

  5. adman said

    Soi 6 short time hotels: when waaaayyyyyy down Soi 4 isn’t far enough.

  6. Sorry, Pattaya Soi 6 Adman. If on Soi 4 short time = Woraburi

  7. “What I find funny about the Thai boyfriend arrangement as it relates to adman’s post and your comment is how wacky the girls get when the fact is the guy’s double dipping is no worse than her double dipping”


    I’ve also had many a disagreement with some girls (especially when living in Hua Hin) about their insistence on me not “take other lady” from the bar even though she can head out with any customer that pays the barfine that evening.

    Then again. I can’t imagine taking my girlfriend to the bar on the motorbike only to have some foreigner drop three loads of cum into her.

  8. Penthouse? She’ll just rappel off the roof.

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