BigDummyKenny

No Something. No Another Thing. No Something Else.

Craziest Bullshit Stories…

Posted by RealDaffyDuck on April 10, 2012

I’m sure we’ve all been there – overheard, or bombarded by some expat’s tall tales – I was reminded of this while reading another forum, discussing this very subject.

What’s the craziest and most outlandish (or, for that matter, most stereotypical) bullshit stories you’ve heard from drunk war heroes (obviously, aside from “9/11 is an inside job” bullshit!”)

Jeez, these guys are eveywhere. I work in another SE Asian country and we had a fellow working here who would come out with this rubbish daily. Some of his gems were:

“Have you ever killed a man? It feels good. Once you have the taste you never lose it. It becomes a passion, I itch for it everyday.” I itch for something too, it’s not killing people though.

“I want to get back to the States and kill that sonofabitch. I have open approval from the CIA to do this.”

“The Khmer Rhouge were Al Queada.”

“I’m a millionaire with a 22 year old girlfriend back in the States.” So why are you teaching English in BumF**ck SEA?

“I’ve gotta keep a low profile. People want me dead. I know a lot.” This is the reason he goes apoleptic when a camera is near.

“NO PICTURES!!! You’ll get me killed.”

He was also a secret operative during the end of the Vietnam war, despite being only five years older than me. That makes him 15 at the time of the end of the War.

I bet you guys have other observations of similar natures… right?

(Let’s skip the obligatory rip on California Economics Professors pretending to be website administration masters – sung to the tune of “unable to establish database connection”)

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2 Responses to “Craziest Bullshit Stories…”

  1. Bright Spark Alert said

    I’ll skip the website rip and instead reference the familiar story of Professor Ng getting rejected by a service girl.

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