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BBK REPRINT: Dummies Guide to the SWSM Part 1

Posted by RealDaffyDuck on June 17, 2013

We’re introducing a new feature today – Reprints of Classics. To prevent various classics of the blogosphere from disappearing forever down the internet oubliette, we are going to be offering reprints of classic oeuvres. Here’s today’s offering!


[originally published on on May 25, 2009]

Some internet commentators bitch and moan about the customer service they get from girls on The Reservation but never explore other options. I guess it is easier to just bitch and moan rather than actually getting off your ass and improve the situation.

If you want to go down market but are burnt out on the normal venues of The Reservation, the SWSM should go into the rotation.

SWSM (pronounced swizum) is an acronym for The Streetwalker Supermarket. It is a small side street next to the railroad tracks near the Petchaburi/Rachadaphiskek/Asok Montri  intersection where girls stand on the street looking for P4P.

Reservation and SWSM girls are two disjoint sets. You won’t see the same old been around forever but now with different colored hair and big plastic boobs chics at the SWSM that you see at the Beer Garden Soi 7, Thermae, and Nana Parking lot.  You might still see some been around forever but now with different colored hair and big plastic boobs chics at the SWSM but they will be different been around, different colored hair big plastic boobs chics than on The Reservation—-and they will be new to you because you are not a long time SWSM regular.

SWSM girls are a mix between regulars who report everyday for work and might be managed and/or owned by Thai pimps/boyfriends and normal occasional girls searching for some scratch.

The SWSM frequently contains Thai girls who go clubbing at RCA or Rachada and on their way home swing by the SWSM hoping for some cash to get them through the week.

You can separate the regulars from the club girls by keying on their dress and how aggressive and forthright they are when you drive through. The girl in the 60 THB micro mini, 50THB clear plastic stilettos, and 40 THB white skin tight semi transparent tank top with her lace bra clearly visible yelling “hello handsome man” is a regular. The group of girls with hunched shoulders huddled together in the back, dressed conservatively, and giggling while covering their mouths with their hands are the club girls.

The Gold Standard of SWSM hookups is a pair or troika of Thai club girls swinging by the SWSM together.  When you see this and are interested take my advice and negotiate for the group package. Be polite, introduce yourself, get everyone’s name and don’t try to cut one girl out of the pack and offer her xxxx THB to go home solo. Offer the group xxxxx THB for everyone to come home with you and let them split it however they want. This offer is rarely declined because it is comfortable and safe for friends who view going home with a stranger with trepidation but will be down with it if they go with friends for safety.

If you run out of bullets before you work your way through the group or bang one harder and better than the others let them figure out who gets what. If you run out of bullets before finishing the group you can always try the argument that since one didn’t get banged, it is only fair that someone do the left out girl (get it?) After all she is getting paid and fair is fair. Right?

You can also dictate the order in which you bang the girls so that the fat ugly one bats cleanup and when it is  her turn conveniently run out of bullets. Then you can whip out your “since you can’t do her, it is only fair that someone do her if she wants her portion of the money” argument. After all she is getting paid and fair is fair. Right?

What is sweeter than cutting out the middleman and getting laid better, cheaper and more efficiently?

Instead of going to a loud overpriced RCA/Rachada disco, wasting your time trying to sweet talk girls who have no interest in you, flushing money down the crapper buying drinks for girls who won’t give you the time of day, and going home broke, horny, and alone, swing by the SWSM. The club girls at the SWSM are the ones who are interested andwill give you the time of day.

I am not putting down the regular SWSM girls. They are worth banging too.

The regular SWSM girls are the Thai only version of Beergarden and Thermae regulars with a couple of differences.

Some are regulars who have been doing the SWSM everyday for years.

Others are occasional girls who have been doing the SWSM intermittently for years.

And sometimes, there is Fresh Produce.

There are the SWSM girls being pimped out by Thai boyfriends or the Cambodian Mafia. These girls are strictly into accepting your deposit and scooting with the cash.

And there are a large contingent of problem girls–who for some reason cannot get legitimate jobs even in P4P. Most don’t have a visa to be in the country or are under aged.

After you have become a SWSM regular, sorting the girls into their appropriate categories avoiding problems and finding what you want becomes second nature. Most Reservation regulars can scope a GoGo lineup and figure out which girls are going to starfish, which have kids and loose vaginas, which are drug users, and make a pretty accurate estimate of how long the girl has been working. You develop a similar talent patronizing the SWSM and as time goes by mistakes occur less frequently.

Before you begin patronizing the SWSM, it is best to keep in mind that you are off The Reservation. There are no farang bar owners protecting their brand name by enforcing a code of conduct among the girls and no one runs interference between the girls and low life scumbag customers. The SWSM is the wild west of P4P.

One SWSM friend/regular swore off the SWSM after being robbed of her money and cellphone by a customer who took her to a short time hotel.

Another got rousted by the police and was taken to the police station and held until a friend could come with 2000 THB. This happens in Nana parking lot as well as the SWSM. If you ever go by Nana Parking lot and it is curiously empty, a police roundup probably just occurred.

I have never had an issue with SWSM girls stealing stuff from my pad but you should be alert to the possibility.

Places like the SWSM are why I never get tired of The Thailand Girl Scene.

The SWSM is not corporate, sanitized, or packaged for the masses.

The danger and adventure have not been regulated and legislated into oblivion.

At the SWSM, moronic politically correct full of themselves idiots who show no respect for local custom, see no need for learning a little about the country in which they are a guest, and who think they can do no wrong because they come from a richer more powerful country can still get themselves shit deep sans shovel.

No ivy league MBA know it all fresh out school but convinced he is a fucking genius conducts monthly marketing surveys with statistically valid sample populations to determine how to tweak and package the product to improve customer satisfaction and sales and, inadvertently, breeds out what made the product great in the first place.

The League of Morally Sancrosanct Middle Aged Overweight Out of Shape Never Get Fucked Scared of Losing Their Meal Ticket to a Younger Hotter Woman Farang Khwai haven’t written their weak kneed liver bellied no backbone legislator complaining about neighborhood eyesores when they are really only worried about their husbands getting access to some reasonably priced quality pussy and maybe realizing what a shitty deal they are getting at home.

Not everyone can utilize the SWSM for maximum effect. SWSM girls are not prepackaged, attractively presented, pre-selected, guaranteed to succeed, no danger, no downside GoGo girls.

You need some knowledge, some skill, make some good decisions, and get a little lucky. You don’t strike gold every time you swing by but when the stars are in alignment the SWSM yields up sanook you can’t find anywhere else.

The SWSM is like poker for real money. You don’t win everyday but on some days you go to the cardroom, a good lineup of players are in the game, you get a seat, get dealt some decent cards, play them expertly, run good and come out big winner.

The SWSM is like having a fast bike modified and set up correctly for track. With some knowledge and skill, making the right decisions and some courage and luck you can carve the perfect corner over and over and over again all day long—- and leave the track weary and exhausted but with the greatest high in the world.

The SWSM and places like it are what make The Thailand Girl Scene the bomb.

And why everyone who gets to participate should consider themselves blessed.

Part 2-Prices and Procedures for the SWSM.

Part 3-Photo Gallery


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