No Something. No Another Thing. No Something Else.

Word & Absurd

The Word & Absurd Roundup by Soi OG


35 Responses to “Word & Absurd”

  1. adman said

    I will add that BBK asked me this last week

    “BBK says:
    Dec-19 at 2:54 pm
    Since you visited the Mango recently maybe you can provide some more information.
    Are the girls working for and employed by SSB and the Big Mango Bar still barfineable?
    In other words, if you would like to have sex with one of the girls do you have to pay owners of the bar for the privilege?
    The Big Mango and its owners have always claimed they are not running a stable of girls and they are not involved in or profiting from prostitution.
    My own opinion is that they are running a stable of girls but there is nothing morally wrong with what they are doing.
    So maybe you can provide some information about what is currently for sale in The Big Mango Bar.

    Besides not knowing shit about taking photos I think you’re a disingenuous asshole Kenny. But to answer your question, the only merchandise I saw being sold at the Big Mango were:

    1. Food
    2. Drinks
    3. A Big Mango hat

    Sorry, but that’s it. I know it’s not the answer you wanted to hear because it doesn’t give you additional ammunition to bash the Big Mango Bar or it’s owners.

  2. Werewolf said

    I saw a tee-shirt for sale 🙂

  3. UnCochinoWetback said

    I was offered to bumfinger a finnish dude outside the bar once. that’s not technically a service sold by the bar but it was very close to the entrance.

    So kenny’s trying to go all CIA and gather intel. why doesn’t he just stop by for a drink. I’m sure he’ll be welcomed with open arms.

  4. bigdummykenny said

    @UnCochinoWetback – Was the guy leaving the bar or going into the bar? Would the technical term for that be a double entry bumfinger?

  5. UnCochinoWetback said

    actually the dude was just sitting outside the massage place moaning in finnish. i ask him what was wrong and he grabbed my hand and measured the girth of my fingers. deeming them adequate he started negotiating prices with me.

    i believe the technical term for double entry bumfingers is “chopsticking” but since i just made that up i could be wrong.

  6. RealDaffyDuck said

    I’m sorry, you got it all wrong.

    It should not be the “BDK – Covert Intelligence Team”, instead, it should be the ‘BDK – Covert Lite Intelligence Team’.

    I’m sure you can figure out how it matches ‘BDK-COCK’ much better 😉

    • bigdummykenny said

      Noted RealDaffyDuck.

      The update (because we don’t go around editing out shit and changing stuff here) will be forthcoming.

      We don’t censor at BigDummyKenny. That would be baaaaddddd! Censorship baaaaaddddd. Updates goooood.


  7. RealDaffyDuck said

    Oh, and by the way, ‘Doraemon’ was me as well – seeing as how posts by ‘DaffyDuck’ get immediately whisked into moderation, yet our good friend ‘Doraemon’ can post whatever he wants, and it goes live without delay – riiiiiight, absolutely no censorship going on, over at BigBabyKenny.

    …and then, all posts that contain a link / URL to this here website, also get either mysteriously deleted, or have the link / URL removed from the content – claiming ‘no posting personal information’. Uh-huh… riiiiiight, absolutely no censorship going on, over at BigBabyKenny.

  8. UnCochinoWetback said

    HAHA, if i told you guys who i posted under you’d get angry at me since i think i’m the one that started all the heavy moderation. i still feel guilty…sort of.

  9. ronru wannabe jr said

    ucw — u were *Purple Thai Immigration*, were u not? Oh no, that was me. I was also Hairy-Ass Sluts-Banger and Horny-Drunken C*nt-F8cker and Purple Fucking Expert and BBK Wannabe Wannabe and SpaffyFuck and Absolutely Pedophile and and and.

  10. ronru wannabe jr said

    @ucw :were u Totally for Jesus? 😯 😳 😆

  11. UnCochinoWetback said

    MAI BOK!!

    does thailand have a 5th amendment? if so i would exercise it now.

    so….. how about dem raiders?

  12. “does thailand have a 5th amendment? if so i would exercise it now.”

    @UnCochinoWetback – Depends. Is Al Davis still in charge or the front office?

  13. UnCochinoWetback said

    BDK- unfortunately yes 😦 he is still in charge. thanks for ruining my day.

    so is anyone taking pics of BBK as he makes his way around town. i bet students at CSUN would love to see them. you know, for educational purposes.

  14. Big Nigger Juice said

    Yo Soi OG you be takin da piss wiv dis speak? Dunya be messin wiv me fool, yo aint no nigger. Me is da only nigger in da village, ya dig dog? Fuck wiv me beeetch, an i be stickin’ yo mama wiv me 40oz piece of coon dong, get da beeetch on the street bringin home da juice for BNJ.

  15. RealDaffyDuck said

    $500 bar tap at the Big Mango in it for anyone bringing Prof. Ng (Kenny) to the Big Mango Bar and taking pictures.

    c’mon there’s got to be some motivated alcoholics out there? If I were in BKK, I’d head over to his hotel right now myself 😉

  16. Soi OG said


    Oh, so dat howz it gonna be is it? Dun be cummin in my hood whit da shit beeaauuucchhh. You dun ben sleepin hind the wheel and slummin whit dat BigBabyKenny hoe. Now you Mr. Jonnie cum lately wanna be Miszah Big Shot Ballah.

    An yas aint foolin nobody whit yo 40oz talkin. You only be Obama half niggah and I be full on Kunta Kinte niggah so yas jus be talkin sheet whit bout what you pullin. I gots da anaconda goin on an you jus got dat lil garden snake. But why you wanna be comin in whit dat shit anyway? There be enouf here for allus get a lil sumthin.

  17. RealDaffyDuck said

    Dude, I have no friggin’ idea what you are saying — I don’t speak ‘dumb ghetto engrish’, so if you could translate, that would be super…

  18. ronru wannabe jr said

    i just posted a comment about my being erectily *challenged* @ Ww’s… 😆

  19. UnCochinoWetback said

    RDD- i grew up in the hood. let me translate.

    BNJ is calling SOG an impostor and SOG is like, “alas, i am the true person with lots of melanin pigment in my skin.”

    then BNJ was like, “my mangina is one of immense size and girth comparable to a large bottle of malt liquor and i will gladly pleasure your mother with it if you continue your harassment.”

    then SOG was all, “oh yeah, how dare you come to my neighboorhood spouting such lies and filth. you know i’m the original and you are but a mere fake. you do not speak the truth as you are but half negro like the US president Obama while i’m very dark as the initial batch of slaves brought over from africa (or wesley snipes). Since i’m of a darker hew i have a larger penis which sometimes is mistaken by white women for one of those large amazonian snakes knows commonly as an anaconda. your member would look like a garden snake if laid next to mine.

    Alas, why would you say such things? there is enough internet for both of us. how about we let bygones be bygones and connect like voltron?”

    i hope i cleared that up for you RDD.

  20. RealDaffyDuck said

    Dude, thanks UCW – that really helped. You should do the subtitles for ghetto speak from now on.

  21. ronru wannabe jr said

    i’d say that the odds of ‘el nerdo’ (@ WW’s) being ‘ronru’ are about 9-1 in favor!

  22. Big Nigger Juice said

    Sheeet dog, me is blacker dan a beer sheeet after an ass fuckin’ – got blood mak mak in da stool, beeetch. Don be jivin me wiv dat Kenny bullsheeet. Dat dog aint hangin with the BNJ! Dat Ng beeetch is a yella bellied rice nigger – dem dog eatin gooks only good for makin Samsung tv’s, beeetch. But I dig all yo’s lil cocked dudes an their lil condoms payin my ho’s. Keeps BN Juice in da finest styleee, ya dig?

    Yo wanna see BNJ for real. I be da top dog in da black corner at Bossy, beeetch. See all dem ho’s fuck me an pay me after day dun take it off yo lil white cock muddafuddas.

    Realdaffyfuck – yo so fuckin racistical you fuckin gonna get an ass wopping when i see yo skinny ass, beeetch!

  23. RealDaffyDuck said

    Sorry, translation, again?

    I don’t speak jive.

  24. ronru wannabe jr said

    bigdummy RULES!!!

  25. ronru wannabe jr said

    oh no… I came in my pants again… Help!

  26. Elwood said

    ‘el nerdo’ the smelly pimply geek farted a *Chai Yo* on WW’s… He’s ‘ronru’ indeed…

  27. ronru wannabe jr said

    Meanwhile, Can anybody help me with my Compulsive Ejaculation *issue*?

  28. ronru wannabe jr said

    I mean — I cum every time I read a lenghty post by BigBabyKenny about the Big Mango Bar. those Burger Boys suck my… Oh no… It happened again 😳

  29. nigger man said

    Yo, niggas knt spel no gud u nos dat.

  30. ronru wannabe jr said

    r u tawking to me, niggah boy? 😯 — mastah ronru

  31. MUC said

    The GOOK Hotel! I must say notthenation has balls writing that shit. Shitttttt!

  32. Big Black Gulliver said

    Lexicon of The Thailand Girl Scene
    Dictionary of The Thailand Girl Scene

    Balloon Chasing/Balloon Chasers: When a bar is offering discount drinks or free food they usually decorate the exterior of their business with balloons. Balloon Chasers are Close to the Line Expats who cannot afford to patronize GoGos and bars but descend in hordes on any bar or restaurant offering free food or drinks.

    Batting Average: The percentage of the time a Reservation girl finds a customer when she hangs out at one of the standard venues. A batting average of 1 means she finds a customer everyday she works. A batting average greater than 1 means she finds multiple customers per day. A batting average less than 1 means some days she doesn’t find a customer.

    BBD-Bigger Better Deal: A BBD is a boyfriend or lover who is superior in some respect to a Thai girl’s current. A common usage of the term is when a Thai girl’s current cheats on her, doesn’t take care of her, etc. but she doesn’t leave him because even though her current is the shits, the alternative is being alone.

    Big Whitey – slang for a farang who will enter into some type of longer term relationship with a Thai girl and rescue her and possibly her family from poverty.

    BJF –Blow Job First: BJF is when you get the sex before you give a girl money. Only Hometown Heroes give the money first and then get mad when they don’t get the sex afterwards.

    Burger Boys: slang for the owners of the Big Mango Bar-Nick and Michael who post using the screen names Pmmmp and SSB (Sideshow Bob).
    Chicom Chics: Girls from Communist China.

    Chip Ho: A good looking girl who likes to gamble but is not skillful enough to be a long term winner in the poker world’s version of a gold digger. Chip Ho’s stays in action by hooking up with successful or recently flush players who stake them in return for sexual favors and a GFE. Chip Ho’s are the poker world’s equivalent of Thailand longballers.
    Close to the Line: Farangs living Close to the Line have barely enough money to survive in Thailand. A farang below the line is one who has to engage in illegal or unethical behavior to get enough income to stay in Thailand. A farang above the line is one who either has enough income from The World or a good job in Thailand that allows them to live comfortably without scamming.

    Daily Dose or Daily Dose of Hate: The constant and incessant daily stream of personal invective and abusive comments from those who wish didn’t exist. See Dedicated Detractors and The Haters

    Dedicated Detractors: Posters who post negative comments about anything posted on the site. See The Haters.

    Farang Kwai: Kwai means buffalo in Thai. Farang Kwai is a derogatory term used by Thai girls to describe big fat western women.

    Fresh Produce: Thai girls who have no experience with the P4P scene. Sometimes referred to as normal girls.

    Free Shot or Angle Shot: This is a poker term which refers to a move by a player which is technically legal and from which it is possible he will gain financially but is considered unethical by honest winning players. An example of a free/angle shot is falsely declaring your hand at the showdown in the hopes that your opponent will unknowingly throw away the winning hand, i.e. yelling out “I have a flush” when you really have Jack shit hoping that the other will player will assume you are telling the truth and throw away hands like two pair or three of a kind. Players who are habitual Angle Shooters are typically players who are long term losers, scrabbling for any advantage so as to prevent dropping out of action or having to drop down in limits. These guys typically live Below the Line.

    G-Clubs: Thai clubs that feature hostess girls who are paid by hour to drink and party with you.

    G-Girls: Thai girls who work at G-Clubs.

    G-Girling: The process of visiting and banging the girls who work at G-Clubs. Another usage is the process of shopping for and entering into sponsoring relationships with the girls who work at G-Clubs.

    Gik: The Thai word for lover. When used withing the context of The Thailand Girl Scene it means a girl whom you occasionally bang but from monogamy and exclusivity are not assumed. Money is usually involved but it is not provided on a per shot deal.

    Getting Shutdown: Getting a shut down is when a girl will do something to prevent a guy from completing or continuing. Most of the time a girl will position her body or move in a way that increases a guys satisfaction and hastens completion. Shortballing girls who for whatever reason doesn’t want to get used too vigorously or wants to avoid multiples use this tactic. Technically she has upheld her end of the bargain and merits payment. It is a sophisticated variation of starfishing and is frequently encountered when there is no possibility of repeat business.

    The Haters: Associates of the Burger Boys whose internet signature is slagging and bashing those who disagree with them or question their veracity.

    Hometown Hero: Farang who back in The World are not good looking enough, charming enough, or rich enough to attract the attention of the best looking smartest women and are frequently overwhelmed, outsmarted, and bent over by experienced P4P girls.

    Long Baller: Thai girls whose objective is to find medium to long term relationships with farang for cash.

    Mangophants: Guys who are willing to kiss ass to be part of the Mango crew. See The Haters.

    Mia Noi: The Thai equivalent to a mistress. The typical Mia Noi arrangement includes exclusivity and monogamy by the girl and providing an apartment and a monthly salary by the guy.

    Quality Fabrics: Term for wearing nice clothes, e.g. business casual or better.

    Sausage Festival: Party thrown by bars to increase drink sales but where the only people who show up at the party are the bar’s employees and a crew of dudes chowing down on the free food and cut rate drinks. Sometimes used to refer to the monthly promotional parties at The Big Mango Bar on Soi 4 because the parties are infamous for attracting a crew of male farang and no women.

    Self Proclaimed Master of the Universe: Farang who are failures in The World, who have moved to Thailand, and pretend they know everything about Thailand and Thai girls. Their favorite pastime, because it strokes their ego and feeds their misplaced sense of importance, is to corner some newbie and pontificate about any and every subject.

    Short Baller: Thai girls whose objective is to go home with guys on a one time basis for cash.

    Slagging and Bashing Festival: series of comments featuring insults and personal invective.

    Starfishing: When a girl bangs with zero enthusiasm or effort. Basically, she just lays there and lets you make a deposit.

    SWSM (pronounced Swizum) is the Streetwalker Supermaket– a street near the intersection of Petchaburi and Rachada where girls looking to hook up can be found.

    Thailand Girl Scene: Refers to the many and myriad opportunities to meet, marry, befriend, girlfriend, date or just bang girls in Thailand.

    The World: Any place outside of Thailand and/or Asia, i.e. the United States, Canada, Western Europe, etc.

    The Reservation: Specifically refers to Sukhumvit between Soi 4 and Soi 33. Generally, it refers to the network of farang oriented businesses, clubs, and bars that cater specifically to farangs.

    Tom and Dee: Thai phrase for a lesbian couple. The Tom is is the girl/boy and the Dee is the girl/girl.


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